


a series of dumbass moments by the outliers gang

by ii_LunarMoon



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album)
Genre: Fluff, General Dumbassery, Hurt/Comfort, Killjoy OC Fic, Light Angst, Literally all OCs - Freeform, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, neon might have adhd? experimenting- i need to do more research first, read safely darlings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:20:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22995358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ii_LunarMoon/pseuds/ii_LunarMoon
Summary: yet another fic written for @AnimeAndArt4Life/@WhiteFeather908
Relationships: Discord Discourse/Sugar Honey Iced Tea, Domino Chain & Topsy Turvy, Last Verse/Never Nicotine, Neon Voltage & Cyanide Rain
Kudos: 3





	1. names

**Author's Note:**

  * For [@AnimeAndArtForLife/@WhiteFeather908](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%40AnimeAndArtForLife%2F%40WhiteFeather908).



> Characters are all OCs except for Korse, Show Pony, Tommy Chow Mein, Dr. Death Defying, the Fab Four and Cherry Cola!

"What's that?" Cait asked Riot, pointing to a small flower on the windowsill. She had only been with the rest of the crew for three days, and was still amazed by the smallest of things.

The flower was a pretty shade of blue. Cyanide had nabbed it from a neutral's yard some time ago when it was ripped out of its bed during a storm. 

"It's an Azure Spitting Flower," Riot grunted in response, polishing her ray gun.

"It's pretty," said Cait, staring at it like it was the most beautiful thing in the world, "I like that shade of blue. Do you think I could dye my hair that color?"

"Tommy's got every color of the rainbow in his store. Dunno how he gets them, but I bet that shade's gonna be in there somewhere," answered Blue.

"Thinking of hair color changes already? What about your killjoy name?" Neon asked, upside down on the couch.

Cait looked down. "I don't know...that's much harder to decide."

Neon's eyes glimmered mischievously and Cyanide slapped him. "I didn't even say anything!!!"

"You were going to suggest something stupid. I could see it in that dumbass grin of yours," Cyanide replied smoothly.

"I do all of this stuff for you and this is how you repay me?!"

"The slap was filled with love, brother dearest."

"Oh, fuck you."

Silence for a few moments.

"So anyway I think you should be named Rat Bastar-"

_"Neon"_

"What?!"

Riot shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Cait, whatever you do, do NOT listen to Neon's suggestions. Ever. Pick one normal, like..."

Blue perked up. "Tide Pod."

"Blue, please," Riot groaned.

"Ash Ketchup!" Neon grinned at Blue.

"Under Tale!" Blue grinned back.

"Shit Spider!"

"Princess Peach!"

"The Fuckening!"

"Brendon Urie!" "Who?"

"Pringles Man!"

"Duct Tape!"

"Shit Fuck!" "neon that's just two swear words"

"Okay, okay, okay, shut up!" Riot groaned and Cyanide clamped a hand over Neon's mouth to help. He was promptly bitten.

"Those are all horrible names," said Cyanide, wiping his hand off in Neon's hair.

Neon scoffed and spit on Cyanide, enjoying how the younger jumped away. "I think they were fan-fucking-tastic.”

"I don't think she should take suggestions from Sir Swears A Lot," Riot retorted, rolling her eyes.

Cait had a ghost of a smile on her face and looked at the Azure Spitting Flower again. Cyanide followed her gaze, thinking for a moment.

"How about...Azure Storm...?" He said slowly, saying the words as they came to him, “you know...like the flower. And storm, 'cuz we got it from a storm...?"

Cait suddenly beamed, the biggest smile they had all seen from her. "That...That actually sounds amazing! Thanks, Cyanide!"

Cyanide nodded, curt as always. Cait vaguely wondered if he'd ever smile, and Neon pouted.

"Shit Fuck is better."

"Neon, _no_ -"


	2. we made a deal (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the outliers make a deal that they can’t afford in order to save cyanide.
> 
> Neon POV, and then Rose.
> 
> (also there’s a gazillion new characters but only like three people read these things so eh)

”Look alive!” Blue managed to yell out before the window to the gas station was shattered.

 _Fuck, really?_ Neon thought to himself, dropping a can of Powerpup when he heard the noise. And just when they had finally found some sufficient supplies, too? The Witch really loved them today.

Riot growled. “Goddamnit, I told you guys that we shouldn’t have come here. The gas station was too out in the open.”

”Let’s just ghost these pigs first and squabble later,” suggested Azure. It was solid advice. They all nodded and ran out the doors to meet the group of Dracs.

Neon grinned as the sounds of ray gun fire started to fill the air. It was thrilling, hearing the Dracs hit the sand and smelling the stench of rubber when he landed a shot. He could see why many Killjoys disliked fighting- after all, the fear of death or capture was very real when you were face-to-face with a Draculoid -but the adrenaline in his veins made those fears fade to the back of his mind.

The fight started to go in their favor until all the Draculoids backed away abruptly. Strange. That wasn’t normal. Was someone coming?

He checked behind his shoulder. No incoming Drac patrols or Scarecrows. So why...?

Blue answered his question. Loudly. ”THERE’S A FUCKIN’ BOMB BEIN’ LAUNCHED ABOVE US, SCATTER!” 

A bomb?

His feet hit the sand running, despite not even seeing the thing in the air. He didn’t know where he was running, just _away, away, away-_ and then a deafening roar reached his ears.

-

Neon groaned, ears ringing and spots dancing in his eyes. When he finally regained the strength to sit up, he checked himself for burns of wounds from the explosion. None that he could see or feel. It was just his head ringing painfully. He was lucky.

The Dracs had been knocked down as well and were slowly coming to. Seemed like their plan had backfired. Neon would’ve laughed if he didn’t feel dizzy every time he breathed.

He looked around, spotting Rose face down on the ground next to him. She groaned and sat up not long after his gaze had landed on her. He scanned the killjoy for injuries, but it was nothing major; just a few cuts, bruises, and one graze on her arm from a blaster. Nothing too bad.

Blue was a few meters away, violently retching into the sand. Neon helped Rose up before he darted to Blue’s side, swaying a bit as he ran due to the remaining black spots in his eyes.

”You aight, Tsu’?”

”Shiny. Got slammed into the wall of th’ gas station,” she muttered, wiping her mouth with her sleeve, “but I don’t think I have any burns, ‘cuz I was further away from the bomb. I can handle myself, ‘m fine.”

He helped her stand up anyway before hurriedly scanning the area for the others.

Riot and Azure had already gotten to their feet, shooting at the remaining dazed Dracs on the ground. The two appeared disheveled but otherwise okay. Either they were tough as nails or they were just farther away from the blast radius.

”Neon!” That was Cherry’s yell. He whipped his head towards the sound and then winced when his head began to pound.

When his eyes focused again, he noticed Cherry, sitting on her knees. She didn’t look injured externally, which was a good sign, but she was leaned over something. Scrap metal, maybe? Neon couldn’t tell because of his headache and the bright sun. He treaded through the sands as fast as he could to get a closer look.

No- that couldn’t be metal, he realized upon closer inspection. That was a person on the ground. 

Cyanide.

And he wasn’t moving.

Neon rushed to his brother’s side, ignoring the roaring pain in his head. “Fuck, what’s wrong with ‘im? Where’d he get burned?!”

”It wasn’t the bomb. We got up, but the Dracs got up faster, and shot him twice on his side. I dusted ‘em, but...” She turned him over for him to see.

His brother’s right side had a horrid blaster wound in it, clothes bloodstained and ripped.

Oh god. Not him.

Neon automatically pressed down on the large wound with his jacket. He heard multiple footsteps in the hot sand before someone dropped down next to him. More of his teammates crowded around Cyanide, but Neon wasn’t paying attention enough to note who. 

”Blue?” He asked, hating how his voice came out strange.

“Yep. ‘M right here,” answered Blue, already digging around her backpack for medical supplies. She held her hand out and someone- probably Riot - dropped a lighter into her hand. 

Neon resisted the urge to retch into the sand as Blue got to work. Cauterizing wounds was horrible to watch and even more horrible to endure. Hopefully Cyanide would stay unconscious so he wouldn’t feel the pain. 

But the Witch seemed to enjoy toying with them today. Blue was only halfway through when Cyanide began to stir.

”Ryder...?” He murmured, eyes half closed and voice sounding small and confused. Neon felt his heart break into pieces.

”I’m here, buddy, you’re okay.” His voice came out weird again, but it was enough and Cyanide relaxed ever so slightly.

”Wha’s happenin’...?” He craned his neck to see what Blue was doing to his side, but Neon pushed his head down gently.

Cyanide was too tired to resist and settled for giving him a questioning look. Neon just ruffled his hair. “You can’t feel it?”

”Feel wha’?”

Not wanting Cyanide to panic, Neon lied and said: “Nevermind. You got burned a bit, so Blue’s jus’ putting on some ointment. Don’t move, or she’ll, uh, slip up. Jus’ rest.”

Cyanide seemed to buy it. “...’Kay.” He slipped into unconsciousness once more.

Blue let out an audible sigh of relief, and Neon locked his eyes with hers. “Will he be okay?”

”Yeah. Probably goin’ to drift in n’ out of consciousness for a few days, what with the blood loss and how close he was to the explosion. It’s goin’ to be pretty rough for ‘im while he’s conscious, but with the help of painkillers, he should be aight.”

Riot swore and pinched the bridge of her nose. “We don’t have any more painkillers. Used the last of them on Cherry when she got hit in the stomach few months ago.”

Azure ran a hand through her hair. “Fuck. And Chow Mein’s runnin’ low on ‘em too, if I remember correctly. We’re gonna need t’ bargain for them at the Lobby.”

Cherry sounded miserable. If Neon wasn’t currently worrying his ass off over his brother, he’d notice that her voice carried a bit of guilt. “I counted our total carbons th’ other day. We don’t have enough to buy more; those things are pretty expensive. Even if Blue spent days jus’ gamblin’, we wouldn’t have enough. We’re broke.”

”And nobody’s willing to trade some measly amounts of food for painkillers. Fuck, we’re so fucking screwed,” Neon groaned, burying his face in his hands. 

“What do we have to trade?” Rose asked, “we’re going to have to give up some stuff.”

Blue packed away the first aid supplies, tightly wrapping Cyanide’s side in bandages. “We’ll see. For now, let’s just take him back to the Warehouse.”


	3. we made a deal (part 2)

“No. Get out.”

”Let me help, Blue!” Neon growled, “you’re clearly tired!”

”And you have a concussion, Neon Voltage!” Blue snapped back, “get out!” She slammed the door to Cyanide’s room in Neon’s face after forcefully pushing him out. Neon snarled and reached for the door handle but an arm blocked him. Azure.

”Leave them, Neon. Blue’s right, you’ve got a concussion. You should sit down.” He gritted his teeth at that. He was _fine_. It was just a small concussion. He wasn’t the one with a hole in his side and a punctured lung. 

They’d all thought it was just the blaster wound, but Blue looked closer when they got to the Warehouse and found out that part of his ribs were broken and had pierced a very small part of his lung. She had to remove the air from Cyanide’s chest, which was a tricky procedure involving syringes and steady hands. She had called Show Pony over to help before Cyanide’s lung collapsed. Pony and Blue had been working for awhile now, and both were clearly exhausted.

Azure turned on the hallway light, which made Neon wince. When had the lights gotten so bright?

”See? Concussion. Go ice it and rest.” She flickered them off and Neon tried to hide his sigh of relief.

But he still stubbornly refused to move. “Let me see my brother.” He had wanted it to sound threatening, but this was the fourth time he’d said that in the last hour. Now it sounded pitiful.

“I will kick you out. Literally. It’s going to hurt with that concussion of yours. Get out on your own accord or be forced out, Neon.” Azure sounded exasperated, and Neon gave in. He trudged away from Cyanide’s room and slumped onto a crate against the wall. 

Across the room he could spot Cherry, Riot, and Rose standing around their splintering wooden table. Their voices were quiet, hushed whispers and Neon could hardly hear them. But he already knew what they were talking about.

”I don’t know what to do,” Rose was saying, ”not only do we need painkillers, but we also need antibiotics in case the wound gets infected. We have absolutely nothing. And nobody’s going to take cans of Power Pup.”

“We could reach out to Jigsaw. She knows a bunch o’ people in the Underground that could help. And the Juviehalls are extra close to BL/Ind’s lobby, so they probably have some medicinal shit we could use,” suggested Cherry, “it fuckin’ sucks, havin’ to use BL/Ind stuff for treatment, but we have to.”

”I’ll contact her,” grunted Riot, “we don’t have any other options.”

-§-

“I could hook ya up with some shiny fellows! But, uh, dunno how reliable they are. But they’re worth a shot!” Jigsaw’s voice echoed around the eerily quiet warehouse. Neon groaned. Too loud.

It’d been an hour before Jigsaw picked up the transmission on the radio. Blue was slumped over on the table, half asleep. Show Pony had left on their roller skates after making sure Cyanide was somewhat stable. To Neon’s disappointment, Blue had banned everyone from visiting Cyanide in case they accidentally moved the hollow tube that was so delicately placed in his lung. They’d have to wait until the lung expanded fully before they could visit.

”Thanks, Jigsaw,” Riot said into the transmitter, “and keep it down.”

”That’s the fifth time you’ve told ‘er that,” Cherry said from the couch, voice inaudible to Jigsaw, “I doubt she’ll listen now.” 

Riot brushed her off with a shrug. Jigsaw’s voice crackled from the other end, somewhat quieter this time. “ ‘Course, Flare! Sorry t’ hear about Rain, that whole thing must be pretty gravity for y’all. Oh, and when y’ come over, be careful: the folks I’m hookin’ ya up with are close to the Orwell locations as well. So it’s all pretty chilly, but it’s yer only option, ya dig?”

”I have no idea what that means, Jigsaw.”

“You’ll figure it out!” Jigsaw’s voice was loud again. “Oop, gotta go, Newsie’s callin’ me for a podcast! Good luck, Zonies!” There was a click and Jigsaw was gone.

”Okay,” Riot set the transmitter down, “someone explain what she just said.”

Blue groaned and raised her hand to grab Riot’s attention. “Basically, she just said that she could give us the location of some people who can help, but they’re kinda shady and are very close to locations that are under constant surveillance. So it’s goin’ to be difficult to get there and may not even be worth it, but it’s our only chance.”

”Well, if it’s our only chance,” Azure sighed, “then let’s get goin’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Killjoy Slang definitions created by @/FriendOfTheMarauders.  
> (Note: really only jigsaw uses these terms. sometimes my other characters do but very rarely.)
> 
> Gravity: A general term for something that brings you down. It could be anything from BL/ind, to sand in your boots, to starvation. “Dang, that’s gravity man.”
> 
> Chilly: Used to describe something or someone suspicious or out of place. “listen here you fuckin’ chilly motherfucker…”
> 
> Orwell: Meaning that there's a lot of surveillance around. Used by Juvie halls most often due to the city being run by BL/ind. "oh be careful out there, it’s all Orwell right now"
> 
> Shiny: Awesome or cool.


	4. we made a deal (part 3)

“Is your ray gun charged?” Riot questioned Azure, who shook her head. 

“Not completely. I need spare batteries.”

Neon, who was across the room, glanced over at Blue, who was fast asleep on the table. She had passed out while he was checking the van for gas. Rose had decided to stay behind and watch her and Cyanide, leaving Riot, Neon, Cherry, and Azure to investigate Jigsaw’s locations.

Azure and Riot started heading to the garage for spare batteries. That left Neon with nothing to do, seeing as his gun was at 98% and his mask was polished. His eyes flickered over to Cyanide’s room.

It couldn’t hurt to see him.

He walked to the room and quietly opened the door, slipping in and thanking Destroya when he didn’t hear a horrid creaking noise. 

Cyanide was still unconscious. Neon resisted lying down and curling up next to him. He rested on a tattered mattress that they had found at a Dead Pegasus station. It was the only one they had in the entire warehouse. The crew had insisted Cyanide have it because he was the youngest. 

Most of the time, Cyanide didn’t look like the youngest because he was running around winning fatal motorcycle races and taking down Dracs without blinking. His stoic personality made the other crew members look like preteens, and he almost never took off his mask or spoke. It was fun to see the look on peoples’s faces when Neon told them Cyanide was actually seven years younger than he was.

” _Seventeen_?” Blue had gasped, running up to Cyanide and tugging on his cheek, “he’s too mature to be seventeen!”

Their reactions, like Blue’s, were always comical. Gasps, yelps, “you’re kidding”s, and even some tackling. It was amusing at first, but the thought began to haunt Neon at night when he was alone and letting his thoughts wander. Normal teenagers joked around and partied and laughed.

But his brother didn’t _do_ jokes, because it had been drilled in his head since he could walk that creativity was unnecessary. Parties weren’t even a possibility now because anything louder than a small speaker made him fold inwards. And Neon could count the number of times Cyanide had laughed in front of the crew on one hand. 

So if Cyanide died here, on a tattered, rotting mattress in a broken down warehouse without ever having the chance to be a real teenager...

Neon shook his head. Cyanide wouldn’t die. The crew would get help from Jigsaw’s contacts and then he’d be fine. They’d burn BL/Ind to the ground together and everything would be normal.

Right?

A voice shook him out of his thoughts. “Neon?” 

He turned around. It was Cherry, standing in the doorway.

“What’re you doing here, Cher’?” He asked, the nickname slipping out before he could help it.

“Jus’ wanted t’...see him, I guess.” She shuffled her feet awkwardly, avoiding Neon’s gaze and instead staring at the corner of Cyanide’s mattress.

Neon frowned. “...You okay?” She’d seemed different ever since they’d gotten back to the warehouse. She had been staring at walls blankly and only spoke when she was addressed.

Cherry gave him a weak smile. “Are any of us?”

“Really, Cher’. What’s wrong.”

She hesitated for a moment, shuffling her feet again. “I guess I just...feel bad. About Cyanide. ‘Cuz I’m th’ one who used up all th’ painkillers a few months ago ‘cuz I was too weak to handle a measly blaster shot,” she admitted, and Neon felt a tight knot wind up in his gut. 

“You weren’t too weak!” He protested, “that shot hit you directly in the stomach, Cherry! If anything, you’re strong for being able to survive a direct hit like that.”

“But-“

“No buts, Cher’,” he interrupted, crossing his arms and pouting, “I‘m right and you’re wrong.”

The childish statement worked like he had wanted it to, and Cherry let out a tiny giggle, slowly beginning to look up from the floor. “That sounded weird.”

“ _You’re_ weird.” He stuck his tongue out at her, causing Cherry to roll her eyes despite the smile growing on her face.

He resolved at that moment to revert back to his usual, joking self for Cherry’s sake, or at least try to hide when his thoughts got too loud. Being gloomy wouldn’t help accomplish much anyways, he told himself. Maybe if he acted cheery he’d feel like it after some time.

“Neon? Cherry? Are y’all comin’?” Azure’s voice echoed through the warehouse.

“Yep,” Cherry called, running outside to meet the others.

Neon started to follow her when he paused and looked back at Cyanide’s unconscious figure. 

“I’ll be back soon, Cayden.”

-§-

“Y’all need t’ git out now. This part’s the super Orwell part in th’ Underground,” announced Jigsaw, hopping off her motorcycle, “It’s th’ only part of the Underground that them Batt Rats have been able t’ take over. They don’t check on it much, ‘cuz most ev’ryone left after they took it.”

She whipped off her helmet, bright green hair shining like a radiant flashlight. “We still gotta be sneaky, though. Follow my lead. And don’t worry ‘bout your vehicles. My friends Venom Bullet n’ Bulletproof Heart’ll guard ‘em. They won’t take ‘em, promise.”

“You’d better not be lying,” Neon grunted, jumping off his motorbike and rolling it over to the two aforementioned Undergrounders. The others hopped out of the van. 

Riot was emotionless as always. Neon could almost never read her, not even through her eyes. Azure seemed tired, most likely from the stress of guarding the door...from him. Shit. He’d have to apologize.

Cherry looked better than before, looking around at their surroundings with interest. She seemed a bit more awake, and she grinned when she saw Neon staring. He grinned back.

He turned his head, scanning the area himself. It was an absolute wasteland, bits of technology thrown about along with various other kinds of garbage. It was too dark to see anything other than dimly lit candles on the rock walls. It was strange. So this was the Underground. He couldn’t believe Jigsaw lived in this mess; or, at least, preferred this mess to the desert.

They walked for a few miles in silence, and their surroundings never changed as far as Neon could tell. Sometimes he would hear wild animals, but barely.

“I miss the desert already,” Azure sighed. Neon nodded in agreement. He also missed his baby brother, but it’s not like he’d say that out loud. 

_Don’t make the crew feel even lower than it already doe_ s, he told himself, _stop thinkin’ ‘bout him already._

Jigsaw let out an audible gasp. ”How could you, Stormie? The desert suuuucks, it makes me feel totally gravity! You’re cage-mad for thinkin’ it’s better than this! Look, this is my favorite tv-mound, it’s *so* shiny...”

“Are we close yet?” Riot interrupted, “we need to be urgent. Cyanide’s life is on the line.”

“Flare, you sound like a whinin’ sand pup! We’re almost there! What trash mound  number are we on now?” 

“22,” Neon supplied tiredly. Jigsaw patted him on the head appreciatively. She jumped onto a wrecked dresser and stared into the distance. Neon didn’t know what she saw, because all he could see was darkness.

After a moment, she grinned and hopped off the dresser. “Shiny. We’re here!”

Cherry looked around. “...We’re just in...a bunch of trash.”

“Nope! There’s a bunker under that fridge that leads to a hidden bar. It’s totally mega. At least one person in that bar has the stuff you need and is willin’ to give ‘em for...” She looked at the few carbons on Azure’s hand. “...that tiny amount of carbons.”

“I doubt it,” sighed Riot, “but let’s try it.”

They shoved the fridge inside and started walking down the steps into the bar.


	5. we made a deal (part 4)

The bar was almost completely empty. It was rather small, and the only exit visible was the one that they had entered through. 

It was illuminated by flickering neon signs. They made his head hurt.

"You aight?" Cherry questioned. "You keep wincin'. Somethin' botherin' you?"

"The lights are too bright," Neon complained.

Azure snorted. "It's pretty dark in here. It's your concussion, ain't it? Shoulda left you home."

"Too late now. Dragon Static'll be here any minute now to trade with us," Neon told her. Dragon Static. That was the name of the Undergrounder they were trading with. The crew didn't know much else about him. _  
_

_"You don't need to do anythin' ! I'll do all th' talkin'. He ain't a bright one, n' he's always whispy, so I think it should be easy to make 'im believe his stuff's worth less than it actually is. He also likes t' git super disgustang n' acts chilly with any female in his vicinity. Sometimes even guys. But don't worry, I'm doin' everythin', so he won't even know y'all exist,"_ Jigsaw had said.

Neon had no choice but to believe her.

Riot looked around. "This is a pretty suspicious place," she muttered to the crew.

"I told'ja it's pretty chilly!" Jigsaw chirped, twirling around a bar stool and winking at the barista.

The barista was not amused. "Spiral Jigsaw," he began curtly, wiping an old bottle that had seen better days, "how nice of you to...visit us."

"Reddie!!!" Jigsaw cheered, "my ol' bestie!!! You're lookin' shiny. Didja get promoted?"

'Reddie' looked not at all pleased to hear the old nickname. He put down his rag and stared down Jigsaw. "It's Redlight Acid," he corrected. "And have you forgotten?"

Jigsaw grinned at him. "Forgotten what???"

"You were banned from comin' here. After you blew up the storage room."

Azure slammed her hands down on the table. "You _blew up the storage room?!_ "

"Eh, jus' a lil' bit."

" _A LITTLE BIT?!?!_ "

Riot sunk her face into her hands. "You said everyone you knew here were your _friends_ , Jigsaw." _Not irritated baristas,_ Neon wanted to add.

Jigsaw hopped around cheerily and danced on the tables, much to Redlight's disapproval. "We are! We're besties for the resties!!!" She informed everyone.

"You're cage-mad," Redlight told her, "take your friends and get out."

Neon grit his teeth. They hadn't thought of this outcome at all. "Wait," he interrupted, "we just need to bargain with one of your regulars here. Can we make the deal and go afterwards?"

Redlight hesitated. "Fine. But she," he gestured to Jigsaw, "has to stay out while you do it."

Riot, Azure, Cherry, and Neon exchanged glances with each other. They didn't know Static at all. Jigsaw was supposed to do the talking. But if she wasn't allowed in the bar...

Neon worriedly glanced at Jigsaw, who just shrugged. "It's fine, Voltage! I'm sure he'll trust ya once ya tell 'im you know me. And it'll be easier to bargain 'cuz Static is always whispy," she said.

"That's not enough inf-"

"Out," Redlight interrupted, shoving Jigsaw out the door and onto the steps. "I'll be with the bikes!" She grinned before Redlight slammed the door.

He turned to the rest of the crew with a glare so fierce Neon could've sworn even Riot cracked a bit. "You'd better not cause any trouble."

"Yes, sir. We won't have any problems. We're in control of the situation." Cherry grunted. As soon as Redlight had stopped staring at them and headed back to his counter, she whipped her head towards the crew. "Okay, so what the FUCK-"

Riot cleared her throat. "Calm down, Cherry. We'll manage to convince Static somehow."

"What do we know so far?" Neon questioned. 

Riot began counting on her fingers as she listed the facts. "He's a regular at the bar and goes by the name of Dragon Static. Jigsaw described him as 'whispy' and 'disgustang n' chilly to all females', which, if my translation of Juvie Slang is correct, means that he's usually high/drunk and he uses women," she answered.

Cherry pulled a face. "Gross. I don't like 'im already."

"He's all we have," Azure sighed.

The bells above the door jingled the crew turned their heads towards the sound. At first, Neon paid no attention to the newcomer, but he couldn't stop glancing back at them. The person had bright red hair, blue eyes, and...Neon narrowed his eyes.

Was that a Hysteria insignia?

"SUGAR!" Cherry very-nearly yelled, startling the Killjoy.

"Cherry? What are you guys doin' here?" Sugar questioned, smiling brightly at the familiar faces and running a hand through his vibrant red hair. It was odd to see him without his bubbly crew, especially Discord. Neon sometimes wondered if the two of them were stuck at the hip, despite their contrasting personalities.

Riot looked down, frowning. "Cyanide's down. Fatally wounded. We don't have the supplies nor the carbons to help him, so we're here to bargain with someone Jigsaw knows."

"Cyanide? Wounded?" Sugar repeated concernedly, smile fading. "Oh, Witch, I'm sorry. I'd help you, but my crew's all th' way on th' border of Zone 6..."

"Why're you here, then? So far from your home base?" Azure wanted to know.

Sugar let out an awkward chuckle, looking at the dusty floors of the bar. "Got bored n' went on a drive. Came here for a drink. Wow. I sound so insensitive. I shoulda checked up on y'all before..." He ran a hand through his messy hair again.

Neon shook his head. "S'alright. You couldn't've known."

The Hysteria member wrung his hands anyway. "Anythin' I can do to help?" 

"Are you familiar with the name Dragon Static?" Cherry asked, "he's the person we're tradin' with."

Sugar frowned. "His name doesn't ring any bells. What does he look like? Is he cute?"

"Apparently he looks high all the time. And I'm not answerin' the second one," Cherry muttered, rolling her eyes.

The bells on the door jingled again, revealing another figure with a black hood on and a somewhat scraggly appearance. 

"Oh," Sugar whispered, "if that's him, he is definitely _not_ a cutie."

Riot cleared her throat, elbowing Sugar before walking up to the Undergrounder. Neon and the rest of the crew hid in the shadows. "Ahem. Dragon Static?" 

"Eh?" He turned towards Riot, unaware of her presence until now. "That's me. What do you want, girl?"

"Jigsaw had said she wanted to make a trade with you for medical supplies earlier. She couldn't make it today- she has the Zone Flu- so I'm here in her place."

To Neon's horror, Static spat on her. "At least Jigsaw was good lookin'. You, you're a loony tune, andI can smell th' pills on ya. I can tell you're from th' fucken' city. Disgustin'. You don't even have a good amount o' carbons," he hissed, gesturing towards the measly pieces in Riot's hand, "get outta my face, City Rat."

Riot growled, rearing back her fist. "Excuse me?"

"Riot!" Azure snapped from the corner, " _do not fight with him!"_

Riot glanced at Azure and then back at Static. She inhaled slowly. "Give us one moment. We might have a...different offer," she said at last, voice carefully controlled like that of a Draculoid's. Static snorted, but nodded and leaned back against the door frame, leaving Riot to run back to the crew.

"If he's got a car, I'm goin' t' burst it's tires," Sugar grunted once she was back, "the fucker, thinkin' he can disrespect you like that-"

"Wait," Cherry interrupted, "I have a plan. But you're not goin' t' like it."

Neon frowned. "Spill, Cher."

-$-

"Are you kidding?!" Azure gasped, "do you know what he'd do to you if he figured it out?! We are _NOT_ doing the seduction tactic!"

Cherry shrugged. "It's worth a shot, based on how he acts. It'll give you guys enough time to take the stuff and go. And I'm a desert born, so he can't smell the, uh...pills. On me. Sorry, Riot."

Riot waved her off. "I'm just worried about what he'll do to you while we're running."

"It's only for a few minutes, n' I know how to fight if i need to. 'S fine."

Neon frowned and put a hand on Cherry's shoulder. "Be careful. Don't let 'im touch ya."

"I won't," Cherry reassured him. She got up and walked towards Static, putting on a sickly sweet smile. He had sat down at one of the tables, smoking what looked suspiciously like marijuana. The bag of medical supplies was next to him, on the rickety wooden table. 

"Hey," she tried awkwardly, getting closer to him, "how's it...uh, goin'? You're, um, lookin' good."

Static stared at her. "Who are you?"

"Uh. Doesn't matter. I think. I uh, want to um, 'talk' to you, Static. In private," Cherry tried. Neon gave her an awkward thumbs up.

Static stared at her. "Are you on some royal shit or somethin'? You raindead?"

Cherry bit her lip. She didn't know what any of that meant. She tried winking at him, but ended up blinking both eyes. Static stared at her for a moment before she cleared her throat.

"Um. Sorry. I thought you were someone else." She hurried back to the table.

"What was that?!" Azure whisper-yelled.

"I thought I could do it and I panicked!!! I'm not good at being the fake prostitute!" Cherry squeaked.

Riot stared at her for a moment. "Screw this. Cherry, sit down. Sugar, you go be the fake prostitute."

"Fuck yea, I've always wanted to be the fake prostitute!!!" He stood up and adjusted his jeans and shirt.

Azure made a face and covered her eyes with her hands. "Ew. Witch forgive me."

"Hush, Azure, this is my comfort zone. Trust me, showin' some skin goes a long way," Sugar grinned, "I'm the Zones's playboy, and don'tcha forget it."

Neon smirked. "Hell yeah, Sugar. Go get 'im!" He exclaimed enthusiastically and hi-fived Sugar. Riot pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered 'boys...' under her breath.

Cherry hid her face in her hands, flushing red. "Sugar-"

"Just go n' nab the stuff while I distract 'im," Sugar told her hastily before walking towards Static and whistling. 

They watched him dance around Static for a moment before Riot snapped her fingers. "Let's go. If he sees you all staring his ego will go up to the roof. Move."

Neon obediently nodded and darted towards the bag, quickly scanning it's contents. Painkillers and antibiotics. Lovely. He snatched it and stuffed it under his jacket.

"Who are you?" Dragon Static questioned again, voice slow and eyes focused on Sugar. Looks like Sugar was doing his job correctly.

"We're just goin' t' focus on you, now," Sugar grinned, leading Static away from the door and his table, "don'tcha know how to dance?"

Neon grinned at Sugar from across the room before running out the door. Riot, Cherry, and Azure followed suit. 

They ran towards the bikes and the van. "Jigsaw, we got the stuff, but we gotta move!" Neon yelled to her, "we didn't exactly make a fair deal!"

"What do y' mean?" Jigsaw questioned before Sugar came running out of the bar. 

"SO HE REALIZED HIS STUFF WAS GONE WHEN HE TOOK HIS COAT OFF AND PUT IT ON THE CHAIR SO NOW WE NEED TO RUN," answered Sugar, yelling and tripping over the trash mounds.

"...Wait, Sugar Honey Iced Tea got here? Since when?"

Cherry let out a horrified gasp, ignoring Jigsaw's question. "HE WAS TAKING OFF HIS COAT?! WHAT SHIT WERE YOU TWO DOING?!" 

"IT'S CALLED SUCCESSFUL SEDUCING"

"EW, SUGAR, WASH YOUR HANDS"

"I DIDN'T TOUCH 'IM I SWEAR"

"STOP FUCKING YELLING AND GET ON THE BIKES. HE DREW HIS BLASTER. MOVE IT," Riot demanded.

Somehow, they hopped on their bikes and rode off without a single scratch.


	6. we made a deal (part 5 - epilogue)

Neon raised his boot to kick down the door, but Riot wisely moved in front of him and opened it quietly.

"What was that for?" He whined.

Azure snorted. "She was stoppin' you from hurting yourself. You have a concussion, remember?"

A concussion? He'd nearly forgotten, what with the crazy adrenaline high from dealing with Dragon Static. Now that she mentioned it, he _did_ feel extraordinarily drained.

"Doesn't matter. Let's just give the antibiotics to C before something goes wrong." He hurried inside, too impatient to wait for Sugar and Jigsaw to even get off of their bikes. 

Blue was still asleep on the table. Neon frowned; she looked restless in her sleep, worry lining her face, as if she was still frantically panicking over Cyanide. Rose got up from her seat next to Blue and rushed to greet the crew.

"Mission success?" She questioned.

Riot nodded. "Wake Blue up. The rest of us don't know how many pills to give him."

"'M already up," Blue groaned from the table, getting up, "gimme th' bottles n' I'll look at 'em."

Neon tossed the bottles to her and walked with her to Cyanide's room.

To Neon's surprise, Cyanide was already awake. The younger boy winced when the door opened, the sudden light startling him. 

"It's jus' me n' Blue, kiddo. S'okay."

"Hurts," Cyanide told them, and Neon frowned. Cyanide never acknowledged his pain if he could help it.

Blue looked like a wreck, but she was all business again. "I know, buddy. We have some pills to make the pain go away, as well as some pills to prevent infection."

That was the wrong thing to say. Cyanide seized up, leaning away from Blue, and Neon felt himself dart over to his brother without thinking.

"S'aight, C, s'okay. We're not forcin' ya to take it. This isn't Battery City, 'kay? You can take your time with it," Neon mumbled, trying to reassure the boy. Neon briefly looked up to meet Blue's worried expression.

_I'm sorry. I didn't mean_ _to_ , is what she said with her eyes.

He shook his head. _It's okay._

Neon looked back down at Cyanide, who had gone pale.

"Don't," he managed, "don't wanna..."

"You need to, C," Neon told him firmly, "it'll make the pain go away and it'll stop infections. You need it." He hated doing this to his crew, and especially to Cyanide; none of them liked taking BL/Ind products to heal, but sometimes they had to. To survive.

Cyanide shook his head stubbornly and then immediately regretted it, flinching. "M' not takin' any BL/Ind shit...Not turnin' into a Scarecrow..."

"You won't turn into a Scarecrow," Riot said from the doorway, "trust me. And trust Neon and Blue. It's safe."

Cyanide hesitated, glancing at Riot, then at Neon.

Neon cautiously held a glass of water and some pills up to Cyanide, who quietly let him toss the pills into his mouth. A few minutes later, he was passed out again, much to their relief. Neon sent Blue to go rest on the couch, telling her she'd done enough. Eventually, she gave in and left the room.

Riot remained for a few minutes, quietly observing the situation. After a moment, she silently turned and walked away. Neon could never read her, but he knew that Riot had worried too. He hoped that she was feeling relieved now.

"Is he okay?" Cherry's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Think so. He'll make it," Neon answered, and Cherry's face split into a grin. She skipped off, leaving Neon alone again.

His head pounded, so he laid himself down next to Cyanide and drifted off to sleep.

-§-

A month had passed. Cyanide was almost completely healed, with only minor fatigue bothering him. Hysteria had decided to pay them a visit to check up on Cyanide.

"You...you what?" Cyanide blinked, staring at Sugar, who had sprawled out on the couch. His head was leaning on Discord, and his feet was on top of Snake. Neither seemed to care.

"You heard me, doll," Sugar grinned, "I danced with a pervert to get them pills for ya."

Cyanide looked appalled from his seat at the table. "Neon told me they traded for it, not..."

"Technically it was a form of tradin'," Snake piped up, and Sugar gave her a hi-five. Cyanide pulled his hood on and tugged the strings so he wouldn't have to see them. Discord gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Cyanide glared at Neon, asking with his eyes: _How could you do this to me?_

Neon tried his best not to laugh. "We didn't know it would go like that."

_"You gave me BL/Ind pills from a shady_ _pervert that Sugar seduced?!_ " Cyanide exclaimed, and Sugar and Snake howled with laughter.

"It was Cherry's idea first," Sugar grinned, causing Cyanide to shift his accusatory glare from Neon to Cherry.

Cherry raised her hands in the air. "Guilty."

"It was all we had. We couldn't do anything else," Riot defended from across the room.

Cyanide's expression went deadpan and he proceeded to lean against his chair like how Riot was leaning against the doorframe. "'Trust me', she said. 'It's safe', she said." Neon doubled over with laughter at Cyanide's Riot impression.

Riot rolled her eyes. ""We had to get you to take it somehow."

Cyanide shoved his face in his hands. "I'm never lettin' Sugar take charge ever again."

Sugar winked. "I don't think you're control of that, doll."

"And stop callin' me that!"


	7. hairstyles

"Cyaniiiide!" Blue's voice echoed through the warehouse, "get down from there and come inside! I wanna show you somethin!"

Cyanide ignored her, not willing to leave his comfortable spot on the roof. It was a quiet evening and he liked to be there when the sunset happened. 

Sunsets were pretty to him. The sunrise was also beautiful, but he wasn't a morning person and most of the time found himself glaring at the sun when it got too bright. The heatstroke and radiation wasn't fun to deal with, either. Sunsets brought a very welcome cool breeze after those usually blazing days. 

He liked to doodle their colors all over his walls when he had the materials for it. When he couldn't sleep, he'd brush his fingertips over the faded drawings. Neon constantly apologized for selling his old paints for carbons, but he didn't mind. They needed food more than paint cans anyway.

Footsteps jarred him out of his thoughts. Someone was scaling the roof. Great. Company.

Blue's bright eyes locked onto his. "I _said_ I wanted t' show you somethin', now move it! It's really rainbow, you'll love it!"

"I don't like rainbows. Too bright."

Blue grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the edge of the roof so he had no choice but to climb down or risk falling right off. "No, you stupid, 'rainbow' in Juvie language means 'positive' or 'happy'!"

Cyanide sighed, filing away that information for later. How Blue knew that, he didn't know. He didn't feel like questioning her either, so he just followed her into the warehouse. 

Cherry was sitting on a crate next to the table, hair tangled up like a bird's nest. She had a mirror in one hand and was staring at her own traumatized expression.

Blue grinned. "Isn't it cool???"

"Not really," Cyanide stated honestly, "what did you do to it?"

Blue looked offended. "I braided it!"

"Really? Because it looks like you decided to throw up in it. Based on Cherry's expression, I wouldn't be surprised if you did," Riot commented savagely from the other side of the room as she polished her blaster. Blue threw a half-broken comb at her. 

Cyanide sighed. "Look, you can't braid her hair like that." He walked up to Cherry, who looked horrified but didn't say anything. "You have to brush out _all_ the knots out first and then separate it into sections. Did you try to comb it with your fingers?"

Blue huffed, holding up the other half of the broken comb. "It didn't work when I used the brush!"

Cyanide looked at Cherry, who shrugged. "I jus' wanted to change up my hair, but uh, this wasn't really what I expected...but it's okay. I think it looks...fine," she mumbled.

He raised an eyebrow and unthinkingly walked off to Riot's room. He grabbed her brush and a few other things from the neatly organized office desk next to Riot's bed and headed back to Cherry.

"Look, you have to do it slowly," Cyanide muttered, a hair clip in his mouth, "you can't jus' yank it." He took out the horribly placed rubber bands and set them aside. Then he started combing Cherry's hair. Properly.

It took maybe about an hour for her hair to look relatively normal again. Blue pouted, but eventually gave in and admitted that she didn't do a good job combing it. 

"You want somethin' in particular?" Cyanide asked when he was done. 

Cherry didn't answer at first, staring into the mirror and watching him work. "O-Oh, sorry. Uh. Do what you want with it, I guess..?"

Cyanide frowned. Whatever he wanted? He just wanted her to not look like a homeless wavehead. He wasn't a stylist.

Mindlessly he reached for some bobby pins and started separating her hair. He wasn't really thinking about what he was doing, just letting his hands move. Occasionally he'd look out the window and admire the sunset while working.

After some time, the cream of the sliding warehouse door made Cyanide snap out of his daze. Neon, Rose, and Azure were standing in the doorway.

"We got more Powerpup, and a good supply, too; those pigs didn't stand a chance," Neon grinned, putting a bag down. Azure started loading the cans into the cabinets and Rose trotted over to Cherry. 

"Whoa!" She gasped, "that looks really cool!"

"M' not done yet," Cyanide muttered, bobby pins still in his mouth.

Rose froze. "You did that?" She asked.

"Who's th' one with the bobby pins in his mouth?" Neon grinned proudly, looking over his shoulder as he unloaded the rest of the Powerpup, "that's my kid brother. Nice work, buddy."

Cyanide swallowed down the beam of pride swelling up in his chest as he braided Cherry's hair. "...Thanks."

"What's it look like???" Cherry questioned. Blue had made her put down the mirror so it could be a 'surprise', but Cyanide didn't think it was that big of a deal. It was just a hairstyle. 

"Don't say anythin'," Azure smiled, "you'll have to wait and see."

A few minutes later, Cyanide stepped back. "Uh...you can look now," he told Cherry. It wasn't that big of a deal. She'd probably be disappointed more than anything.

To his surprise, her face broke into a large grin. "I love it! You're a genius, where'd you learn to do this?!" She gasped, reaching up to touch her hair.

Cyanide frowned. "...I practiced on a friend a lot. She couldn't do it by herself, so Neon helped her and I learned from him."

"Whoa," Azure inhaled, "space buns _and_ crazy braids? Damn, Cyanide."

Neon reached out and patted Cyanide on the head. Cyanide found himself smiling, but quickly stopped out of embarrassment when he noticed Neon grinning back.

Blue pouted. "Fine. I admit it. Your braids are way better."

Cherry finally stopped staring in the mirror and turned to face him. "Thanks, Cyanide!"

Cyanide shrank into his mask. "Y-You're welcome."

He looked outside the window to see the last of the sun going down and the calm darkness that was the night washing over the sky.


	8. bean (part 1)

"A raid on one of the BL/Ind-controlled warehouses?" Neon repeated, "sounds shiny. Aren't those heavily watched, though?"

The Outliers were in Dr. Death Defying's shack. They were gathered around a small table, mapping out a new mission.

Rose was lounging in a chair, head down on the table but still fully listening to the conversation. The idea of a raid was new to her; so far, she'd only shot down a few patrols with the rest of the crew. She wasn't sure if she was excited or terrified. Honestly, at this point she wouldn't be surprised if it was both.

Dr. D nodded at Neon, leaning back in his wheelchair. "Exactly why you're goin' with Hysteria."

Hysteria? Rose lifted her head. She hadn't actually worked with them before and had only briefly exchanged words with the leader- Discord, was it? Judging by Neon's constant trips to their hideout and Riot's strong approval of the crew, they seemed to be great allies to have. Even now, just the mention of the group's name caused the corner of Cyanide's mouth to lift up and Blue to cheer loudly, throwing her hands in the air.

"I'll even be goin' with you," Dr. D added, "it's in Zone 7, which none of you know very well. Hence, the reason why I'm coming."

Blue's hands were still in the air. "It's resources could feed dozens!!! This is a real shiny catch, D!"

Dr. D held up a finger. "There's one thing you need to sort out, though. I need one of you to stay behind. You won't be alone; a member of Hysteria is also staying behind to help."

Azure raised an eyebrow from the couch. "To help with what?"

"That." The crew followed Dr. D's gaze to reveal a small little girl sitting on the floor in the corner. She was so small Rose hadn't even noticed her.

"S-She's only like, a year old! D, where the hell did you-" Cherry gasped dramatically. "D, is she yours???"

"Heavens, no," Dr. D chuckled, a twinkle in his eye barely visible through his dark shades, "Cherri found 'er on th' porch."

Cyanide curiously approached the child, his hand out cautiously as if he were walking up to an animal. The girl continued gnawing on what looked like a...stick? and ignored him completely. When he got too close, however, she hissed and squirmed away. The stick remained in her mouth the whole time.

Rose frowned and leaned her head to better easily view the girl. She had long, uncontrollable brown hair that almost reached the floor and wide olive eyes. Her inquisitive eyes glanced up and locked eyes with Rose for just a moment. Before Rose could do anything, the toddler waddled up to her, past a somewhat disappointed Cyanide, and held out her stick.

It was most definitely not a stick.

"Is that a switchblade???" Rose asked, narrowing her eyes at the little girl, "Witch, someone take it away from her." It was a closed blade, thankfully, but still terrifying.

"You're the closest. She waddled up to you," Riot reasoned, "and I don't like babies." She made a face.

Rose sighed and held out her hand. The girl babbled at her and then dropped the saliva-coated switchblade onto Rose's hands. Gross.

"She seems to like you," Dr. D observed, "maybe you could stay behind?"

Stay behind? For the child? Absurd. Maybe the Doctor really was going senile. Rose considered wiping the child's saliva onto Dr. D, but thought better of it. 

"Me?" Rose repeated, swallowing down the crude reply that threatened to spill out of her mouth, "all she did was make some weird baby noises at me and then dropped her...knife...into my hand." Speaking of, she didn't even know what to do with it. She placed it on the table and slowly wiped her hand on a napkin.

"Well," Dr. D started, "when we first found her...she might've thrown an active grenade at us. Pony was able to kick it away with their roller skates. It did quite the number on a nearby cactus." 

Azure snorted. "Sounds like she's a real dust angel."

Dr. D nodded in agreement. "A killjoy in th' makin'. She wouldn't let anyone get near her without hissing or biting. Pony thought she was a 'totally rad spitfire' and begged us to keep 'er. When she walked up t' you...that's th' first time she willingly approached someone. That's why I think you'd be great for the job, Shotgun Rose."

"Lovely," Rose muttered, "you want me to stay behind with the grenade-loving, knife-wielding, one year old _baby_ while the rest of you go on a raid. Exactly what I wanted." She could already tell the day was going to be amazing. Her eyes darted around to meet the rest of the crew's gazes, silently asking for someone to back her up. Nobody offered. Cherry gave her a sympathetic look, which did not help at all.

Dr. D nodded, either not noticing or ignoring the sarcasm in her voice. "Precisely. Make sure she doesn't mess anythin' up, get lost, or get hurt. We need her in good condition if we're goin' to find a crew to adopt her later."

Rose suppressed a groan. If it were anyone but the Doctor speaking, she'd be rolling her eyes as well.

Cyanide gave her a light pat on the shoulder. "You'll be fine."

Doctor Death Defying cleared his throat. "Oh, and you're already somewhat familiar with the Hysteria member who will help you out with the girl. His name's Sugar Honey Iced Tea."

Cyanide's grip on her shoulder tightened. "On second hand, be careful."

Fun. She had the Zones's flirtiest playboy and a literal baby to watch over. By herself.

"I didn't freakin' sign up for this..."


	9. bean (part 2)

-$-

"She can eat Powerpup," said Cherri, who Rose preferred a great deal more than Pony or the Doctor, most likely due to his calm demeanor and ability to _actually explain things to her_ , "you might need to help her out a bit, though. She likes the outdoors a bit too much; she kept trying to crawl out the window when I wasn't looking. So uh, be careful of that. She's also um, a bit rowdy, but I think you got that memo already. Obviously make sure she doesn't get hurt; no crew will take in a disabled or sick child."

Rose nodded, feeling like a babysitter receiving instructions from a parent as Cherri continued to talk. She had experience with little kids before via her sister, but it wasn't the same; in Battery City, Draculoids took infants away to be "taken care of" (she knew now it was to implement tracking chips in them and to monitor the effects of new drugs in the infants). They gave the children back to their parents at the age of five, so she never had to deal with teaching them how to walk or talk. The little girl she was assigned to take care of couldn't be older than a year old.

Speaking of the child, Rose shifted her gaze from Cherri to the girl in the corner. She was babbling at the radio, which was playing Mad Gear. Probably not good for a child to hear, but Rose didn't bother to turn it off. It's not like Bean could understand it.

Bean. That was her name. She cringed internally at it (Though she'd heard worse Killjoy names before. Like Sugar Honey Iced Tea, for instance. Why did he think that was a good idea?).

_"Bean?" She questioned, "that's a horrible name."_

_Cherri chuckled awkwardly, fiddling with the dog tag around his neck. "I didn't give it to her. Pony did. The little thing was obsessed with this empty can of beans in D's shack. She thinks it's a hat. Pony thought it was hilarious, and we didn't have anything else to call her, so..."_

Cherri's voice snapped her out of her memories. "Sugar should be here any moment. I have to go deliver supplies for Tommy, so as soon as he gets here, you're on your own. Is that alright?" He questioned, shuffling his boots.

Rose nodded. "It's fine. Thank you."

He left Rose to stare out the window and wait for the familiar roar of a motorbike and a man with bright red hair.

-$-

She didn't have to wait long.

"Hey. Shotgun Rose, was it?" Sugar waved, hopping off his brightly painted motorbike, "I'm Sugar Honey Iced Tea, but you can jus' call me Sugar."

Rose nodded curtly, opening the door to let him in. "Bean's in the next room. She's pretty captured by the radio right now."

"Bean?" Sugar raised an eyebrow.

"That's what they named her. 'They' as in Show Pony."

"Hm. Explains a lot."

They walked inside and Rose walked him through how to feed her, what Bean was like, how to keep away the grenades, etc. He seemed weirdly knowledgeable about everything. Rose figured Cherri gave Sugar more detailed information than her since Cherri was in a rush to go when he was talking with her. 

"Never woulda guessed I'd be a babysitter again. I thought it'd be over once my sister hit age ten," Rose snorted as he shook the sand and dust from his hair. She noted in the back of her mind that he had no helmet on. He grunted something along the lines of 'same here', but she wasn't quite listening. She was more focused on Bean raising her voice at the radio in the other room.

Sugar seemed to notice it, too. "Is she...yelling at the radio?" He questioned.

Rose shrugged. "I mean, I'd personally be offended if one of Mad Gear's screamo songs was playing, too."

"What?! Those kind of songs are the bomb. Now _I'm_ offended."

Rose brushed him off. "Whatever. I'm going to go check on her. You radio Discord and let him know you're here. I got this in the bag."

-$-

 _I do not, in fact, have this in the bag,_ Rose thought to herself as she wrestled Bean away from the radio. The gremlin was trying to bite it to pieces. Why were one year olds more annoying than five year olds? Her sister was never this rowdy. It must be because one year olds didn't know the meaning of 'no' yet.

"No, don't do that," she sighed, knowing full well that Bean wouldn't listen, "Riot will have my head if you bite her radio."

Bean hissed and started biting _her_. 

"Oh, come now," Rose groaned, "you're not supposed to eat other people, honey. It's bad for the intestines." She yanked her hand away from Bean, who then started squirming and kicking in her hold.

How about this, then? Rose began to babble at Bean, something she used to do at her sister all the time. Usually her sister would stop squirming and giggle at the weird noises.

Clearly Bean was different. She started kicking harder and having a tantrum. How fun. 

She tried everything, from makeshift toys, new radio stations, and googly eyes to get Bean to calm down. Nothing worked. What the hell was wrong? The radio was _off_. Why was she still crying?

"If this carries on, I'm going to end up having a broken rib," Rose told Bean, who ignored her and continued screeching and kicking like the anti-christ was in front of her. 

She sighed again and opened the door to the main part of the warehouse, walking towards Sugar, who had the transmitter against his ear. "Sugar, sorry to interrupt, but she's screaming and I don't know how to stop it. She kept trying to bite the radio, so I turned it off, but she continued to cry."

Sugar raised an eyebrow. "Gimme a second, Disc." He put down the transmitter.

Bean stopped screaming for approximately half a second before resuming her siren-like wailing. Sugar winced. "That's a loud baby."

"Nice observational skills. Do you know how to help, at all?" Rose asked. She wouldn't normally say that out loud, but she had an angry, violent baby in her arms and her mood was not exactly pleasant.

Sugar was wise enough not to sass her back. "Hand her to me?" He suggested, and Rose was more than happy to.

Bean was still crying, except now she was also trying to bite Sugar's piercings off. The red-head stared at her for a moment without saying anything, which confused both Rose and Bean.

"Oh," Sugar chuckled, "she's just hungry. S'that why you're tryin' t' bite of my piercings, kiddo?" He opened a can of Powerpup, bouncing Bean on his hip, and turned towards Rose. "Spoon."

She stared blankly. "What."

"'M not goin' t' feed her Powerpup with my hands, Rosie."

Oh. Right. She grabbed a spoon from the counter and handed it to him, ignoring the nickname Sugar had just given her.

"Look at me, kiddo. Open up." Bean happily bit down on the spoon and munched on the Powerpup. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Rose just stared. "How'd you know she was hungry?"

"You said she was bitin' the radio, n' I could jus' tell from her eyes."

Sugar, good with kids AND good at reading people? Who knew? Rose filed that information away for later. "Guess it was good that you were assigned to help me, then."

Sugar frowned, as if that were a bad thing. "...I guess so."

The transmitter crackled to life. " _Sugar? You okay now?"_ Rose identified the speaker as Discord, based on how quiet and controlled his voice was.

"Yeah. Rose, could you-?" Rose nodded, taking Bean back from Sugar before he even finished speaking.

The usually rowdy thing was now quietly playing with Rose's hair. Quickly she fell asleep in Rose's arms.

"Why can't you be this cute all the time?" Rose whispered to herself, heading to Cyanide's mattress. He probably wouldn't care if Bean slept there for a bit, would he?

She placed Bean on the mattress and wrapped her jacket around the child, seeing as there were no blankets around. She slipped out of the room, keeping the door open. Rose headed towards Sugar, who had his back to her and the transmitter against his ear again.

"- _How are you coping? Doing okay?"_ "I'm...it's fine. Doesn't matter. You should focus, Disc, 'm fine."

Sugar sounded awfully tired for just babysitting a kid, Rose noted. She almost laughed at how Discord described taking care of Bean as 'coping'. It wasn't _that_ bad, was it? It's not like Sugar was the one wrestling Bean away from Riot's prized radio.

Sugar seemed to have sensed Rose and swiftly turned around, and whoa. She wasn't ready for how...tired he looked.

Was tired the right word? He looked tired, but there was something else there, too. She just didn't know how to describe it.

"Gotta go, Disc. Good luck. Stay alive n' keep runnin'," Sugar said quickly and then hung up. He stared at Rose for an awkward couple of minutes before Rose cleared her throat.

"Bean's sleeping in the other room. She'll be occupied for a bit."

"That's good."

"..."

"..."

Rose coughed nervously. Witch, socializing was hard. "So."

"So."

From what Rose had seen, Sugar was the talkative type, but right now he looked distant. Huh. She wondered if talking would help at all or just make him more...tired.

"...Are you and Discord a thing?" Rose blurted out, just to have something to talk about. She immediately regretted it, but too late now.

Sugar chuckled, but it sounded forced. "Take a guess, Rosie." Well, he was using nicknames. That was something.

"I asked you for a reason."

"Well, if I told you no, what would you say?" It was a genuine question.

Rose snorted. "...I'd tell you that all of the Zones thinks otherwise."

"And if I told you yes?"

She considered this for a moment. "Then I'd say you made it too obvious."

He chuckled, leaning against the table, and Rose rolled her eyes. "You're not going to tell me the actual answer, are you?"

He gestured for her to come closer. "I'll whisper it to you. Ready?" She nodded.

She absolutely was not ready for All Star to blast in her ears. 

"SUGAR!" She shrieked, covering her mouth in case Bean woke up, "what is WRONG with you-!" Sugar was too busy doubling over in laughter to reply.

It was going to be a long day.


	10. bean (part 3)

It'd been quite awhile since Bean fell asleep, and Sugar and Rose were sitting on the couch, idly listening to NewsAGoGo's station. Nothing much was going on; the biggest event taking place at the moment was their crews's raid, which they already knew the details about.

Sugar kept staring at his transmitter. Rose frowned. "Are you waiting for someone to call back?"

"Of course, I need to get updates on the latest tea from my dollies," Sugar grinned at her.

Well, that was a lie, based off of his tone and eyes. Sugar was good at reading babies, but apparently he wasn't so great at hiding his own emotions. "Really, Sugar. Are you worried or something?"

Sugar shrugged. "Well, I always am. You know how it is. Dunno if they'll come back in one piece, y'know?" He admitted.

"You really love your crew, don't you? Especially Discord."

He smirked at her. "Wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy?"

"Oh, you little-" "I don't know what you expected, Rosie." "Stop calling me that!"

Rose was about to elbow him when Bean started crying from the other room. She started to get up, but Sugar put a hand in front of her, grin fading. "I got it. I know how t' calm 'er down. You stay here."

She nodded, watching him enter the room. He was better with kids than she thought.

A few minutes later, the crying had stopped, but Sugar still wasn't back yet. Rose shrugged to herself- why not go check on him? It's not like she had anything better to do. She hefted herself off the scratchy couch and headed into Cyanide's room. She peeked through the doorway.

Sugar was quietly rocking a sleeping Bean in his arms. His back was to Rose. Bean, still sleeping, kicked at Sugar lightly in her sleep. "You're a rowdy one, aren't you?" Sugar mused quietly, whispering to himself, "my kid was so much easier to handle than you, y' rascal. She slept like an angel, but you, you just _have_ to break my ribs even in unconsciousness, huh?"

Rose inhaled sharply. The hell? His _kid_? Unfortunately, this action alerted Sugar of her presence. He turned around, sleeping Bean comfortably in his arms. "...Rose?" It was the first time he'd called her by her real name (save from their introductions).

"Hi," she said quickly, acting like she hadn't heard anything, "just got here. She okay?" 

"Yeah," Sugar nodded, and it was dark enough that Rose couldn't see his eyes, "'m jus' puttin' her back t' bed. No worries."

He placed her down and walked towards the coach once more, an uncomfortable silence falling over them yet again.

"...You had a kid?" Rose blurted out again, and then slapped a hand over her mouth. She hated awkward silences, so she tended to blurt out the first thing that came to mind, and...shit. That was the worst possible thing she could've asked. Witch help her. "I'm sorry, I...I just heard a little bit, not much-!"

Sugar looked down, fiddling with a necklace that Rose vaguely remembered to be from Discord. "She wasn't _mine_ , but she sure as hell felt like one."

Rose softened. "...I get it. I had a little sister, too."

"She wasn't my sister, either," Sugar corrected, and now he wasn't facing her anymore. She couldn't read him at all. His tone was flat, too, but there was a small amount of sadness to it. "Found 'er on the edge of the Underground. 'Bout as old as Bean. Cute kid. Her auburn hair was almost as red as mine."

Rose didn't remember Hysteria carrying a child with them, and judging from Sugar's tone and usage of past tense, she definitely hadn't just run away from the crew. So that meant...

"Witch, Sugar, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

He didn't respond, so Rose walked around the couch to see his face. It came to her then. The word she couldn't remember from before, back when he was reporting to Discord. He wasn't 'tired' like she'd thought.

He was grieving. That was the word.

Now she understood why Discord had sounded so concerned earlier, dear Destroya. Poor thing- it must've happened recently, too.

"Sugar...?" She questioned after a minute.

"It's fine," Sugar smiled, and Rose was absolutely not prepared for the change in emotion, "whoa, it's almost five already? Damn. Time flew by fast. They should be done with the raid by now. Do we have any more Powerpup left?"

That was an abrupt topic change, but Rose didn't question it. She also didn't question how empty his eyes looked. Not now. "I think so. Check the cabinet in the corner?"

As he headed towards the cabinet, Rose idly wondered how cruel it was for Hysteria to put Sugar in this situation. Ironic, too, putting the only two killjoys with lost kids to watch over Bean. The Witch could be so harsh. It was silent again, but this time Rose clamped her mouth shut. She didn't want to put Sugar through anything else.

Briefly she ran the morning's events over in her head. It made sense now. He knew when Bean was hungry, he knew what she could eat and what she couldn't, and he knew how to put her to bed because _he had a kid_ _._ An adopted one, apparently, but still his kid.

If Rose felt like she was going to vomit from just the sickening thought of BL/Ind taking away yet another child, she wondered how Sugar felt. Quickly she glanced over at the Hysteria member to see him leaning over an unopened can of Powerpup. His eyes were blank once more. Was he lost in his memories again?

Before she could say anything, Bean crawled into view. _Not now,_ she pleaded in her head, _seeing you isn't going to be a good thing for him right now._ Of course, Bean wasn't a mind reader and continued crawling. She patted Sugar's foot and started babbling, something in her hands.

"Hey, Bean." Sugar's voice, softer than usual. "You got something for me?"

Bean pulled what could only be described as a shit-eating grin and opened her fist to reveal a very sharp pocket knife. Cyanide's, to be exact- Rose could tell due to his signature colors painted on the sheath. 

"Again? Witch, she's like a magnet," Rose muttered, darting forward to pick Bean up and cautiously take the knife away. She placed it on the counter, making a note to put it back later.

Sugar weakly smiled at her. "The Doctor was right, she really is a killjoy in the makin'," he commented, staring at Bean. Well, he was staring _at_ her, but not truly seeing her. Rose knew he was seeing someone else when he looked at Bean, a different little girl with bright auburn hair. 

Bean promptly bit his finger and tried to wiggle out of Rose's grasp, so she set Bean down. And then immediately picked her back up because she was crawling straight towards the slightly open door. 

"Dear Destroya, you just love being annoying, huh?" Rose mused, "could you close the door for me, Sugar?"

Sugar nodded and reached towards the door, but it swung open before he could make contact with the handle. Thankfully, he jumped back to avoid getting hit, but in doing so knocked over Blue's boots. Bean laughed with glee. Rose figured she had already sensed the rest of the crew coming back, which was why she was heading towards the door.

"Rose? Sugar?" Neon's voice. He didn't sound worried, so the raid must've been a success. "Did I hit someone or did Blue put her toolbox in the doorway again?"

"Well, you almost hit someone, but it's aight, darlin', s' jus' me," Sugar grinned, and Rose found herself feeling uneasy at how quickly Sugar was able to mask himself. 

Neon poked his head through the doorway and beamed. "She didn't explode anything! Well done!"

"Yeah. No thanks to you for leaving me and this flirt alone," Rose muttered, and Neon patted her on the head.

"Sorry. But the mission was a success! We got a ton of food for the dust angels, and we got _actual food!_ Like, actual apples n' some weird-ass lookin' yellow thing...dunno why it's spiky..." Neon continued to ramble, and Rose found herself smiling. The rest of the crew piled in through the door (with Cyanide elbowing Neon through because he was taking up space) and began unloading supplies.

Someone cleared their throat and Sugar looked up to see Snake and Discord in the doorway. 

"Hey, Sugar," Discord smiled, and Snake grinned with a loud "Yo!" Sugar smiled back and threw his arms around them, much to their surprise. Rose found herself smiling.

Blue made her way over to Rose and poked Bean's on the forehead, which made the girl bite her. "Ow! Dude, she's meaaaan!" She whined, holding her finger, "that's a rude baby!"

"Cute, though," Azure commented, "I mean, just look at her eyes."

"Whoa, they're really cute!" Cherry grinned, placing herself in between Blue and Azure, "what a pretty green color!"

Blue giggled. "She's goin' t' be a pretty killjoy. A mean one, but still. Aren't ya, Bean?" She cooed.

Cyanide rolled his eyes. "Girls," he muttered to Riot, who raised an eyebrow.

"...I'm a girl." "You're more of a desert dog than a girl." "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?"

Sugar walked up to Rose after everything had been unloaded. Hysteria was packing up to leave, so Rose figured it was a goodbye of sorts.

"...Thanks for everythin', Rosie."

She shuffled her feet. She needed to apologize, and it needed to be now. "I'm sorry. For saying things. I should've minded my business..."

"S'aight," Sugar waved her off, "don't worry 'bout it."

Rose nodded, beginning to turn away, but Sugar spoke up again. "Wait, there's somethin' else I gotta tell you!"

She raised an eyebrow and he leaned in, whispering in her ear.

"For the record, Discord and I are a thing."

She stared blankly at him, mouth agape. 

Sugar winked at her. "Jus' don't tell Neon."


	11. origins

**Riot Flare**

"Why'd we stop? The rest of the Scarecrow Unit will find us any moment now."

Violet put her face in her hands as they hid behind the wreckage of an old stack of BL/Ind TVs. How could she have been so stupid? She couldn't believe she had put her life into the hands of a rebel, a desert Killjoy no less. 

Said desert Killjoy turned and grinned at her, the determined fire in his blue eyes so wild she almost moved away. He had brightly colored clothing that clashed with Violet's black and white jumpsuit and he looked about as clean as the scavenger hyenas she'd been taught about in the textbooks. He acted like one, too. He laughed too loudly and smiled too much. Violet had come to accept that as a part of who he was.

"I'm lookin' for the opportunity to hijack that van a few yards front of us. I'm offended you think I actually _enjoy_ sitting still for long periods of time. Don'tcha know me at all, Miss Sasane?"

Oh. And that nickname. It was how she was addressed in Battery City; it was either that or she was addressed using her citizen ID number. The name itself was not out of the ordinary, but his tone made Violet want to slap him. Nobody talked with that much... _sass_ in Battery City. It wasn't _normal_. Though, she'd come to realize the man who called himself Thrill Pursuit never acted by BL/Ind standards.

Hence the reason they were currently hiding from the Scarecrow unit and a Draculoid patrol on the ruined streets in the Lobby. Somehow he'd convinced her to escape Battery City with him because, in his words, 'Korse is a bitch and it's boring here'. Oh, and he said some other things about manipulation, torture, and drugs, but that was the sentence that had stuck with her the longest. 

Thrill snapped his fingers. "Hey, wake up, Violet. Zoning out already? Man, if you were still a Scarecrow, you'd be reprogrammed by now. Good thing I took ya outta there so now you can get reprogrammed for cooler things!"

"I'm going to get reprogrammed for disobeying the law, blowing up a building, and working with a Killjoy."

"Yeah, aren't those things just so fuckin' shiny? God, how I love vandalism."

How'd she get stuck with him, of all rebels? She could only hope his crew was milder than he was, but a sinking feeling in her gut told her they were going to be much, much worse.

"Okay. On my count, run into that BL/Ind van. I'll be right behind you. Get in the front seat and start drivin' towards the east gate of Zone one. I'll light the flare that'll alert my crew, they'll blow it up, and we'll drive straight through," instructed Thrill.

Violet took a deep inhale before nodding. Thrill smiled at her. "You're one fun Scarecrow, Miss Sasane. The Zones will love you."

He counted down and sent Violet off. She weaved between laser fire with expertise. Funny how she had trained for years only to use her knowledge against the very city she had sworn to protect. A laser grazed her shoulder, but she ignored the stinging pain and hopped through the back doors of the van, kicking the Draculoid in the driver's seat through the window on her left. 

Thrill, as promised, was right behind her. "Get drivin', Violet!" He turned to close the doors behind him, and Violet stepped on the gas. She plowed over a Draculoid squad or a unit of Scarecrows- she couldn't really tell the difference at the moment- and sped towards the east gate. 

"Thrill, do you have the flare ready?"

No answer. Violet turned around. "Thrill?" 

He was on the floor of the van, back against the wall and one hand on his side. "Mhm, sorry. It's a bit hard lighting a flare with one arm. The other one's a bit occupied." He grinned at her. Then he looked like he regretted it when he immediately spat up blood.

She'd have to patch him up later, but for now, they had to get out. "Hand me the flare."

Thrill looked unsure, which was an odd expression she'd never seen on him before. "While drivin'? Vi, you'll kill us both. You've never even _used_ a flare before!"

"I'll make it work. You stay focused on not bleeding out."

He tossed her the flare and anxiously looked out the window. They were speeding towards a closed gate in a laser-dented BL/Ind van that was already smoking with a disoriented ex-Scarecrow as the driver and one heavily injured Killjoy. She didn't blame him for looking nervous.

Violet ripped the cap off with her mouth, left hand on the steering wheel and right hand holding the flare. She knew it had to be lit somehow, but she didn't know how. Did she just have to strike it against the cap...? That would be hard with only one hand. But it's not like she had another option. The now ex-Scarecrow striked the flare against the cap in her mouth and yelped when it nearly burned her face.

"You're goin' t' need t' chuck it through the big hole in the gate...Can you do it?"

"I wasn't named the top Scarecrow for nothing." Violet moved the flare to her other hand, stuck the flare out the window, and chucked it at the gate. If it didn't go through the hole, maybe just hitting the gate would be enough to alert Thrill's crew.

Fortunately for them, the flare flew straight through the hole and seconds after the gate exploded in a flurry of smoke. Thrill's friends must have gotten the signal. Violet braced herself and drove straight through the fumes. 

"Won't they follow us through the gate?" She asked Thrill, who shook his head weakly. He was pale. That wasn't good.

"No. Misery n' Lithium will take care of 'em. Both of them have killer bombs." Violet figured Misery and Lithium were his crewmates. She had no choice but to trust them.

Thrill was right in the end. The sound of grenades nearly caused her to go deaf, but she kept driving forwards and realized with a shudder that they were now in the desert. It was the first time she had been out of the city. The sun was blazing hot, just like Thrill had told her it would be, and the sand looked like it'd swallow her up if she wasn't careful. The landscape was filled with various shades of yellow and orange, which was more color than she'd ever seen before. A few cacti were scattered around, some sprouting bright pink flowers.

The laserfire ceased. Violet pulled to a stop around a large boulder and quickly checked to see if anyone had followed them. The van was now somewhat far from Battery City, just far enough where she felt like she would be safe checking on Thrill. Two brightly painted motorcycles were riding towards them, and Violet figured it was Thrill's crewmates.

She hopped out of the seat and ran to Thrill, who looked barely conscious. "Hey, Vi." His voice was shaking. Violet hoped his crewmates had medical supplies.

"You threw the flare with an injury like that? Atta boy," one of them grinned, poking her head from around the corner. She had long silver hair with bright blue streaks that contrasted oddly with Thrill's calm chestnut brown. The man at her side had similar dyed hair, just shorter. They appeared to be siblings. Both looked slightly concerned about Thrill's current state, but didn't say anything. The woman quietly got to work and took out a small pouch that appeared to be a medical kit.

"Wasn't me that threw it," Thrill said quietly, "it was Violet. She did it while drivin'."

Violet felt the siblings's eyes land on her. They studied her for a moment, and Violet wasn't sure what to say. She decided on not saying anything.

"She threw the flare, huh? That should be part of your killjoy name," mused the male, handing the woman a lighter. "I jus' picked what I thought sounded cool. Silver Misery. N' my sister's Lithium Tide. No emotional attachment to 'em. But I think you should pick a name with meaning, after all what Thrill's told us you've been through."

"Riot Flare," Thrill choked out as Lithium started cauterizing the wound, "it'd be fitting. You left Battery City with a bang. Remind them of it every time you announce your presence."

Violet thought about it. It fit her well. She'd have a name that was born from breaking every single one of BL/Ind's rules. "I think I'll keep that one."

Thrill smiled at her. He smiled a lot, and each one felt different. Most of his smiles had an aura of recklessness and danger in them. This one was new. It felt warm and comforting, like the feeling of putting your hand into the sunlight. She found herself hoping he'd smile like that more often. He patted her on the shoulder.

"Don't ever let 'em take away your name, Riot Flare."

-$-

**Cyanide Rain**

"It's raining _now?!"_

Ryder looked agitated and frankly, Cayden couldn't blame him. They were in the middle of a fight with a patrol of Draculoids. Karma was circling around the Dracs on her motorbike, firing at as many Dracs as she could, but there were too many for only three Killjoys to take on at once. On top of that, the universe had decided to gift them its radioactive, acidic rain that killed many unsuspecting Killjoys annually.

"We need to retreat and find shelter!" Karma shouted as she spun past the brothers, "we can't win this fight if we're getting hurt from the rain! Head to that cave over there!"

"Easy for you to say!" Ryder yelled, pulling his jacket over his head so the rain wouldn't burn his face off, "you're on a motorbike and we're on foot!" It was true. And the amount of time it would take to get all three of them on the small motorbike would be enough for the Draculoids to burn dozens of holes in them. They needed a different strategy, but there was no time to think.

The rain started falling down harder. A particularly big drop burned a hole in Cayden's oversized jacket. Not good. All of them would probably be sick from exposure to the rain by tomorrow. If they lived that long.

Out of nowhere, Ryder cried out in alarm and Cayden barely turned around to witness a small bomb sailing for Karma's motorbike. She flew off the bike and landed in the sand, weaponry scattering in different directions.

They rushed towards her, but she held out a hand to stop them. "M' fine, but get the radio! We need backup!"

Cayden eyed the radio. It was far away from any of them, way behind the influx of Draculoids continuing to fire at them. "You guys run to the cave. I'll jump on the motorcycle- it's the closest to me -and grab the radio. I'll serve as the distract while you two run."

Ryder looked appalled. "Cayden, you've never even _driven_ a motorcycle before! And we're in radioactive rain; you'll get yourself killed!"

Cayden ignored him. Whether Ryder liked it or not, his plan was already set in stone. His feet dragged into the sand as he ran towards the fallen motorcycle, hoping to reach it before the Draculoids could shoot a hole through his brain. In the corner of his eye, he could see Karma dragging Ryder towards the cave. He mentally added that to his list of things he admired about her, then continued on his journey.

A laser flew at him, aimed at his head, but he dodged and kept running. The rain had almost fully burned off his jacket, but the adrenaline pumping through his veins at the moment kept him from noticing.

At last he stepped in front of the motorbike and hopped on it. He'd never driven one before, but based on how Karma drove it, he'd have to press one of the two handles to get moving. The problem was, he didn't know which one. Was it even a handle he had to turn, or was it a pedal, like a bicycle? 

Another laser nicked him on the cheek. He inhaled sharply, took a wild guess, and turned the small handle on his right. He abruptly found himself accelerating so fast that he had to squint in order to see. _Looks like_ _I turned it with too much force._

At least his speed prevented him from getting hit by any lasers. He could still feel the rain beating against his back, though. 

He rammed the bike through a group of Draculoids and reached down to grab the radio. Once it was safely in his hands he hid it in his jacket pocket (which he'd find out later was the only remaining part of his jacket that wasn't burned) and revved the engine up. He mowed through the last of the Draculoids and sped off towards the entrance of the cave, where Karma and Ryder were waiting.

However, with a shaky realization, Cayden learned that he had no idea how to brake. "W-Wait, I don't know how to brake, Karma-!"

"Pull down the handle on top of the throttle!" Karma yelled at him, "but do it slowly, or you'll-"

Too late. Cayden slammed his hand on the brake out of nervousness and the motorbike launched him off of it, making him face plant into the desert sands. He tried to get up, but found he couldn't without wincing in pain.

"Don't move, C," Ryder told him, "you've got acid burns all over your fuckin' back. Not to mention the probable bruises on your chest from your, ah, graceful landing."

Acid burns? Since when? He only felt them when Karma lightly touched his back and caused a horrible burning sensation to crawl up his spine. 

Ryder started calling Karma's crew for backup and Karma began treating his back. Cayden quietly thought to himself about what had just happened in order to distract himself from the stinging pain. He decided he liked riding the motorbike; maybe he'd ask Karma for lessons when he felt better.

"You should be proud of yourself, C," Ryder told him as Discord hung up, "you rode a motorbike for the first time through poisonous rain no less. Well done, buddy. M' proud of you."

Cayden bit his lip and ignored the warm feeling of pride bubbling in his chest. "It was nothin'."

"Sure was somethin' impressive t' me!" Karma grinned, "you should name yourself after that stunt. Like Acid Rain."

"Nah, I know a lotta 'Joys with their first name bein' Acid. Put a twist to it," suggested Ryder, tapping the radio against his chin, "try somethin' like Cyanide Rain."

Cayden thought about it. "I like Cyanide Rain. It sounds like my real name."

Ryder ruffled his hair, grinning when he heard the familiar sounds of motorbikes in the distance. "Then I guess we got some exciting news to tell our friends."


	12. oh fuck she thinks we're heterosexual??? (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH BY THE WAY THIS WILL ALTERNATE BETWEEN SUGAR AND TALON'S POV. IT STARTS WITH RETRO'S POV BUT FROM THEN ON IT'LL ONLY BE SUGAR AND TALON :D

**Retro**

Retro shook the Hysteria leader's hand, giving him a small smile. "Thanks for helpin' with the raid. You and your crew should stay over and relax a bit. You guys deserve it, and your base is a long ways away from here."

Discord smiled back. "Are you sure? There's five of us in the crew; that's a lot of people in here. Are you okay with that?"

Retro nodded. "Of course. It's the least we could do."

Systematic Static had been trying to intercept a line of BL/Ind vans that carried precious resources, but someone had seen them coming and called for backup from a very large Draculoid patrol nearby. The SS crew was known for their unbelievable speed in fighting, but not even they could finish off seven BL/Ind vans and a large Draculoid patrol without getting hurt. Hysteria had answered their call for help and stepped in before anyone could get seriously injured. 

Retro and the rest of her crew had wanted to split the resources between the two crews, but Hysteria had only accepted taking the valuables from two of the vans. According to Discord, they didn't need it and would prefer if SS kept the valuables for themselves or even donated some to other crews instead.

Letting them stay was the least they could do.

She brushed back her hair, which was being annoying and getting in her face, but found it was stuck on the hinge of her glasses. "Oh, fun...knew I shouldn't have worn this pair today..."

"Here, lemme help," Discord snorted, quietly chuckling to himself at the hilarity of the situation. He stepped closer and reached a hand up to take the hair out of Retro's glasses when Talon kicked down the door to the shack. Her short blonde hair was all over the place, even more so than usual, and were those _lollipop sticks in her ponytail?_

"Manic's puttin' lollipops in my hair aga-whoa, wait, am I interrupting a moment here?" 

Interrupting a moment? Discord was just taking her hair out of her glasses. Retro didn't understand anything Talon was saying at the moment. But then she realized how close Discord was, how his hand was near her face... _oh, come on._ _I'm too gay for this_ , she thought to herself.

Discord awkwardly scratched the back of his head, stepping backwards. "Uh, we're not-"

"N-Nevermind. I'll ask Cindy to deal with Manic. You guys can uh, continue kissing," Talon said quickly before slamming the door shut.

Retro groaned. Of course Talon would automatically assume... "I'm really sorry about her. She's uh, quick to judge things. I don't think she even knows I'm not even-"

Discord awkwardly chuckled. "You don't need to say it. I already know."

"Wait, what?" Retro raised an eyebrow, hoping Discord could see the confusion in her eyes through her yellow heart-shaped glasses. 

"I can always detect a fellow closeted gay," Discord grinned, winking at her, and Retro nearly yelped.

Discord? Homosexual? And had a gaydar? Today was interesting already.

-$-

**Talon**

Talon ran to Cinder, who was outside and lounging against the walls of the shack. Storm and Sea were fixing up their bikes, and Manic was probably eating more lollipops so she could put more sticks into Talon's hair. The rest of Hysteria was a few yards away, gathered around a small campfire. Talon knew Cinder didn't like to be bothered, but clearly Retro was...occupied. She could've sworn Retro wasn't into that kind of stuff, but she was apparently incorrect. "Cindy, Manic's puttin' candy in my hair and she only listens to you n' Retro. Help."

"Then go ask Retro. I'm busy reading the newest zine." Of course Cinder would respond like that. 

Talon rolled her eyes. "She's busy kissin' Hysteria's leader. Discord Discourse, I think is his name."

Cinder dropped the zine. "Retro? Kissing?"

"I know. I was surprised too. I didn't catch them like, actually doin' it, but they were _jus' about to_. Gah. I need to bleach my eyes, Cindy," Talon whined, tugging out another lollipop stick in her ponytail. She pursed her lips. Did Hysteria know about Retro and Discord yet? She needed to find out. Manic and her stupid lollipops could wait.

The blonde stomped through the desert sands (which was harder than it looked. Roller skates were difficult things to manage) towards the small campfire.

Wasp Sting waved at her. "Hi, Talon! What's up?"

"Hi, Wasp," Talon grinned at the younger boy, "I'm here to ask your crew a question."

Sunshine raised an eyebrow and leaned back against a dry log. "Go ahead."

"Did y'all know Discord and Retro are a thing?" Talon scanned the crew's eyes.

Snake blinked. "But wait, I thought Discord and Su-" "Huh, really? Good for them. How'd you find this out?" Sugar interrupted Snake, a twinkle of amusement in his electric blue eyes. Talon guessed he was excited for Discord. The whole crew seemed to be pretty close to each other, anyway.

"I walked in on Discord with his hand on Retro's cheek. They were super close to each other. I left before I had to witness anythin' else," said Talon, and the whole crew erupted into chattering. Nobody noticed Sugar sneak off.

Nobody but Manic, who was sitting under the shade of a Joshua tree.

-$-

**Sugar**

"Disc?" Sugar called, walking behind the shack and towards Hysteria's motorbikes, "Disc, you there?" 

"Sugar?" Discord poked his head from around the corner, a canister of gas in his hand; he must've been midway through filling his motorbike with gas. He kissed Sugar as he approached, which made Sugar feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He got used to having the comforting feeling whenever he was around Discord.

"Are you aight? What's wrong?"

Sugar grinned, leaning on Discord's shoulder. "Nothing's wrong, promise. Have you been gettin' into th' art of prankin' people? S' about time."

Discord looked confused. He leaned against the wall, raising an eyebrow and putting down the canister. "Prankin' people? You know how uncreative I am when it comes to those things. Why do you ask?" He didn't know what had happened? Sugar found himself thoroughly amused. Boy, was Discord getting a surprise.

"According to Talon, she walked in on you n' Retro about t' kiss. But I know you're as straight as a circle, and th' Retro girl doesn't give off any heterosexual vibes, so I figured something' was goin' on."

Discord laughed, which made Sugar grin at him again. " _Ohhh_ , that. Retro got some hair stuck in the hinge of her glasses. I reached up t' help her out with it n' I guess it looked pretty chilly when Talon came in." Leave it to Talon to assume the worst of everything. Sugar had only known her for a few days and she already seemed to be...interesting to have around.

"Well, she went n' told our whole crew, n' I think she's tellin' the rest of her own crew as well. So I think we should get back at her," Sugar exclaimed devilishly, throwing his hands up in excitement, "it'd be a really funny prank, Disc. She'd hate it."

"What are you proposing?" Discord asked.

Sugar held up three fingers. He was _so_ glad Discord asked. Now the fun could start. "First, we get Retro in on this. Check if it's okay with her. If we get her approval, then we go on to step two: pretend you two are on a secret date. Step three, you profess her love to her while they're all watchin' to gross 'em all out."

Discord wrinkled his nose. "Ooookay. Then what?"

"We get her to say no, and then you get free stuff and opportunities out of pity!" Sugar grinned, and Discord looked appalled. 

"Babe!"

"What?! Obviously you're splitting all the stuff with her!"

"No, not that! It's just that in doing this, we'll be trickin' our own crew!"

"I see this as an absolute win."

" _Seth!_ _"_

Sugar laughed into Discord's shoulder, which made the other relax ever so slightly. "C'mon, it'll be fun! Don'tcha want t' see our crews faces when you reveal that you're a secret heterosexual?"

"N' you're okay with all of this?"

"I mean, I'm not a heterosexual, but I _do_ support their righ-" "No, I meant you're okay with me bein' all...flirty with someone else?"

Sugar paused, and then laughed at Discord. "I flirt with other people all the time, Damien. It's okay, really."

Discord looked concerned. He fiddled with his piercings. "You sure?"

"'Course. I know you're too gay to even _hold hands_ with a girl," Sugar snorted, then leaned in to kiss Discord. 

After a moment, he pulled back, albeit reluctantly. "Let me go ask Retro. Let's hope she says yes. If she does, then we're in for a wild ride."

Meanwhile, Manic slinked off from around the corner. This was getting interesting. 

-$-

**Talon**

"What?!"

Talon laughed as she watched Sea throw a wrench into the air in surprise. "I know. I didn't believe what I saw at first, but then I thought about it. Why would Hysteria help us if they weren't goin' t' take anythin' for themselves?"

"Kindness?" Storm suggested.

"What? No, that's stupid! Obviously Discord convinced the crew to help when he saw that _Retro_ was in trouble! Then it gave her the perfect opportunity to ask him out, and disguise it as a 'thank you' dinner to the rest of us!" Talon grinned. She was a _genius_. Cinder totally didn't help her figure this out at all, nope.

"Have you told Manic yet? She'd get a kick out of this," said Cinder.

Talon frowned. She actually hadn't seen Manic in awhile. "I thought you told her?"

"Couldn't find her," Cinder admitted, "or Retro, for that matter."

"Damn. Retro's probably letting Manic in on her 'secret'. Good thing I'm smart enough to have figured it out myself." Talon grinned, spinning around triumphantly on her roller skates.

"You stumbled on them by accident."

"Hush!"

-$-

**Sugar**

"...and that's the plan. Are you in?" 

Sugar, Discord, and Retro were all behind the shack, plotting their already outstanding prank on the crews. Sugar grinned. This was going well. Retro already had an excited glint in her eyes (well, at least Sugar _thought_ it was an excited glint. It was hard to tell because of Retro's glasses) and Discord seemed to be warming up to the idea.

"Sure. Sounds like fun," Retro decided finally, and Sugar gave Discord a hi-five.

"Wait."

That was a different voice. Sugar turned around to see Manic, standing there in all her pink-haired glory. "I want in."

Sugar felt his grin widen. Manic looked like a fun person to be around. From the short period of time he'd fought with her against the Draculoid patrol, he could already tell she was a cool person. Only cool people flirted with the Draculoids mid-fight.

"I'll help convince 'em further that Discord n' Retro are datin'. N' I'm really good at acting. Promise," Manic added.

Discord shifted against the wall. "How do we know you won't give the plan to the rest of the crew?"

"You'll jus' have t' keep my word for it," said Manic. She winked at Discord and Sugar knew automatically she was a keeper.

"You're in."

Manic grinned. "Shiny."


	13. oh fuck she thinks we're heterosexual???? (part 2)

**Talon**

Everyone was sitting around the campfire in front of the shack, for once in their lives not eating Powerpup but actual food from the vans. Talon was munching on a sickly sweet orange. Okay, so it wasn't a _real_ orange (nothing but Joshua trees and cacti grew in the deserts) but even the genetically modified fake orange was still better than dog food. She wondered if she could ever eat Powerpup again.

She eyed Discord and Retro suspiciously. They were sitting _very_ close to each other and every time Talon looked up at them they were staring all lovey-dovey at each other. Ew. They were horrible at keeping their relationship a secret. Talon swore she could see Retro blush every time Discord told a joke, but it might've just been the camp fire light. But she'd like to believe otherwise.

It was only a matter of time when Discord excused himself to use the bathroom. Retro waited a minute and then followed after him, saying she needed to 'do something very, very important'. Hah. She was horrible at acting. Talon knew better.

Manic poked her on the shoulder. "Hey, Tals."

"What?"

The pink-haired Killjoy leaned in closer, like she was about to tell a secret. "You know, I heard them talking earlier this morning. I think they're plannin' to go on an...evening stroll through the abandoned path behind the shed. I think we should follow 'em. 'Cuz I mean, you said you almost walked in on them kissin', but _almost_ isn't enough. We need to check for real if they're actually together."

Talon held back a gasp. "No way. Are you sure?"

"Never been more sure of anythin' in my life, Tals." Manic paused, frowning. "But...I'm not sure...nobody will believe us if it's jus' th' two of us. We need more people."

Talon tapped a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "We should tell the rest o' the crew. It'll be like an adventure! We can jus' say we do this traditional crew thing after a successful mission and that our crew needs to do it alone. And then we go follow Discord and Retro!"

"You're brilliant," Manic grinned, and Talon couldn't see the smug look in her eyes because of her hair.

"I know."

Talon finished her food and waited patiently to tell the rest of the crew.

-$-

**Sugar**

Sugar grinned, watching Retro excuse herself and leave the campfire. Things were all going according to plan. 

He glanced at Manic, who was quickly becoming his favorite Killjoy in the circle. With a hidden grin he watched her tap Talon on the shoulder and whisper the plan.

_"Talon's really easy to manipulate," Manic giggled, "you jus' gotta make her believe she's outsmarting her opponent and make her think everythin's her idea. Trust me. I'll convince her n' the crew to follow Discord n' Retro in under two minutes without makin' a commotion at all. You'll see."_

_Sugar felt a wave of excitement crash over him. Letting Manic join the team was a good decision. "You really are a maniac." He grinned and hi-fived her._

_"It's jus' one of my many talents, motorbaby. Stick around a lil' longer and I'll teach you how t' attract 'Joys like fleas." Manic winked at him._

_Discord snorted. "He doesn't need your help with that, trust me."_

Manic hadn't lied. It barely took her more than a minute to get Talon to speak up. 

"Hey, we've got this tradition we do with our crew after every successful mission. We're goin' t' take a couple minutes alone behind the shed to do it. That shiny with y'all?"

Storm raised an eyebrow. Poor kid. He didn't know what was going on. Sea looked equally confused. Cinder was unreadable. But all of them followed Talon and Manic anyway, mostly out of curiosity. 

Upon exiting, Manic shot Sugar a wink. He returned the action and cracked his knuckles. Time to get his crew to believe the prank.

"Guys, can I show you some letters I found?"

-$-

**Talon**

"Talon, what're you doin'?"Storm asked when they were out of view from Hysteria, "last time I checked we didn't have any 'tradition' after missions. What's goin' on?'

Talon patted him on the shoulder while Manic grinned devilishly in the shadows. "Look. You know how Discord and Retro disappeared?"

Sea groaned loudly. "Not more of this, Talon! I believed you at first, but I thought about it more. There's no way they're actually together when we only met a week ago. N' that doesn't even count; the first time we've actually spoken to them outside of a mission was today!"

"They could've had a secret relationship," Manic countered, "who knows? With the new technology the Juvies made, it's probable they were talking alone on a private radio wave."

"But that's not what I gathered y'all here for," Talon interjected, "you see, I brought all of you here because Manic heard some news that we can use to learn once and for all if they're officially together!"

Manic grinned. "They're goin' on an 'evening stroll' as we speak. I heard them plan it together before the dinner started. Don't you think it's too much of a coincidence that they both got up to leave around the same time and still aren't back?"

"You have a point," Cinder frowned. "So what are you suggestin'?"

"That we go after them." Manic's smile grew wider, if that was even possible. Talon almost chuckled at how enthusiastic Manic was about this. Normally she only cared about strip clubs and _putting lollipop sticks in Talon's hair._

Sea gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth. "We can't just _stalk them_ _!_ That would be wrong!"

Talon leaned against the back wall of the shack. "Guess you'll never know if they're actually together or not, then."

That did the trick. She watched Sea hesitate and then crumple her shoulders in. "Fine. If they catch us, it's not my problem."

They all looked at Storm, who just shrugged. "Whatever. Do what you want." But Talon could tell he was curious underneath that indifferent expression of his.

Manic suddenly hushed everyone. "Quiet! I think I hear them! Over that sand mound, look!"

They piled under the small sand mound and Talon could make out two voices that unmistakably belonged to Retro and Discord. Nobody could see them for fear of getting caught, but their voices were enough.

"...It's really pretty out, tonight. You can really see the sunset," Discord was saying. 

"I agree. Sunsets are really cool. You can see all the colors," said Retro, and Talon could almost imagine her nodding and tilting her glasses like she always did when she enjoyed talking about something.

There was a pause. Talon strained to hear what was next. "You know what's prettier than the sunset, Retro?"

"Hm, what's that?"

"You."

Storm gagged next to her. Talon couldn't blame him. 

Retro gasped. "You...you really mean that, Discord?"

"I've never meant anything more in my entire life. You're..." there was a somewhat long pause, and Talon was unsure why. "...more beautiful than I've ever seen in my entire life."

Sea rubbed her temples. "I hear them walking away," she whispered to the rest of the crew, "I think we missed most of it."

It was more than enough for Talon.

-$-

**Discord**

Discord held a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing. The conversation was so incredibly cliche that he wondered if Sugar and Manic ripped it straight out of a romance novel. No, actually, it was so cringy he was certain nobody was stupid enough to publish something like that. Were all heterosexual couples like this?

" _Go on, you have to finish your sentence!"_ Retro whispered hurriedly to him, " _it says here you gotta say 'you're more beautiful than I've ever seen in my life', but you only said the first word!_ "

Discord looked at the paper, which was a recycled receipt Retro had found, and oh shit. He'd been so caught up on how _stupid_ it was that he had forgotten to finish his sentence.

"...more beautiful than I've ever seen in my life."

They hurriedly walked away, and once they were out of earshot, both of them burst out into laughter.

"You said 'my entire life' twice!" Retro snorted out, which caused Discord to giggle more.

"I'm sorry!! I got confused and tripped up 'cuz the script's so _cheesy!_ How come I get all the stupid lines?!"

Retro threw her hands up. "I dunno, I didn't write it! Your stupid boyfriend and Manic did! I don't have enough chaos in me for this!"

Discord stopped laughing to let himself breathe. He collapsed into the sand, flopping an arm over his face. "Witch, I'm never doin' that again."

-$-

**Sugar**

"What is it?" Wasp asked.

"They're some letters I found in Discord's bag. They're-hey, don't give me that look!" Sugar waved his hands in the air defensively as his crew stared at him, "I was lookin' for a spare battery pack, I'm not a creep! ...Anyways, I thought they were records of our recent trade deals, so I picked 'em up and they were..."

He held up the contents of one of the letters. "Way worse."

Sunshine gasped. "That looks like a...love letter? To Retro? From...dear Destroya, Talon wasn't kidding!"

"Damn. It's even in his handwriting, too," Snake muttered, "it's kind of weird, I always had this feeling that he was..."

"Wait!" Wasp interrupted Snake, bouncing in his seat, "how many of them are there, Sugar???" 

Sugar grinned. Wasp's childlike curiosity was adorable sometimes. "There's like, twelve of them from Discord, not including this one. N' there's around the same amount from Retro. All of them are equally sappy, trust me."

"Well," Sunshine pursed her lips, and Sugar could tell she was trying to find something positive to say, "I'm happy for them."

Snake was the only one not convinced. "No, no. This doesn't feel right."

"What do you mean?" Sugar pretended to look innocent, cocking his head slightly, "do you not like Retro or somethin'?"

Snake rubbed her temples, shaking her head. "No, she's fine. I jus'- I dunno. Discord n' Retro...doesn't feel right. Am I the only one feelin' like this, right now?"

She was catching on. Hopefully that'd change after the next part of their plan, which would take place in an hour. 

He hoped Discord and Retro were ready. 

-$-

**Talon**

Talon rushed back to the campfire with her crew. 

She and Wasp opened their mouths at the same time to speak. "Guys, you'll never guess what we jus' found!"

They locked eyes for a moment. Talon heard Manic stifling a laugh in the background. "You go first, Wasp."

A piece of paper was shoved in her face. She couldn't make the handwriting out at first, but the longer she stared the better she could read it, and...dear Destroya.

"W-We didn't really believe you this morning, honestly," Wasp admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, "but then Sugar found these and now we're pretty sure you were right."

"Glad to hear it," Talon grinned. "We heard some pretty crazy stuff. You know when Discord n' Retro left for a 'bathroom break' durin' dinner? They were actually goin' on an evenin' stroll together. I'll spare you the details, but by _Destroya_ they were sappy together."

In the back, she could see Snake having some sort of crisis in the background.

Manic cleared her throat. "Wait, guys, why's there light comin' from the shack?"

Talon grinned. "It's Discord n' Retro, ain't it? Let's go spy on 'em through th' windows." She rushed towards the windows, and as expected, both crews followed. She was quite the leader, huh?

There were candles set up, illuminating the shed. Yep, definitely Discord and Retro. 

Discord had his hand outstretched to Retro. "Retro, you know I've felt this uh, way for um, so long and I uh, jus' wanted you to know..." 

Wasp made a small squeaking noise. "Aw, he must be nervous!"

"For what?" Cinder raised an eyebrow. 

"For his love confession, obviously!" Wasp whisper-yelled to her, "what?! It totally looks like that's what's goin' t' happen!"

Talon noticed Sugar nodding in agreement out of the corner of her eye. And Sugar knew Discord quite well, from what she'd seen. If _Sugar_ thought it was a confession, it must be a confession. Right?

Then she felt her radio beep against her hip as Discord continued speaking. She quickly took it out of her belt to answer it- someone needing help would always be a bigger priority than Discord and Retro's fling -and a voice she hadn't heard in awhile spoke aloud.

"Hey, Talon, guess what!" Blue Tsunami's voice echoed through the desert, loud enough to cause Discord and Retro to pause and glance at the window. Fuck. 

Talon hurriedly shushed Blue, whisper-yelling into the radio. "Be quiet, we're doin' somethin' important!" Thankfully, Discord and Retro stopped looking at the window and continued talking.

"But Rose jus' pulled the _coolest_ shot ever! You know how you told me a shot 500 yards away was impossible, back in th' Juvie Halls? Well, she did it!"

Talon vaguely remembered meeting Rose. Talon had been stealing some pink-haired Killjoy's med kit, and Rose was one of the first of his crew to aim a blaster straight at her head. She liked how Rose didn't hesitate to make a move. Talon had run into her and her crew a couple times after that, and she did seem pretty cool. 

But it didn't matter now. "I said, _shut up_ , Blue, we're watchin' Discord secretly confess his love to Retro, n' if they hear you, they'll probably stop!"

Blue didn't even listen to her. She was too wrapped up in Rose's exciting feat, apparently. "'M givin' the radio t' Rose, she can tell you herself 'bout it if ya don't believe me!"

Talon groaned. She was about to hang up when she heard Rose's voice crackle to life over the speaker. "Wait, what was that about Discord and Retro?"

"Discord n' Retro are confessin' to each other as we speak. They're totally pastel for each other. Now _hush,_ so we can listen!"

"That's not possible," said Rose, and she sounded so confident that Talon started to doubt herself despite Rose only saying three words. Everyone around her stopped listening to Discord and Retro and instead intently tuned in to Talon's radio. Snake looked like she was about to have an epiphany, and hell, Talon related.

"Why do you say that?"

"Sugar and Discord are a thing. Sugar told me himself. They've been together for years; there's no way Discord's confessing to Retro," explained Rose, "and besides, Discord's gay."

Talon blinked, processing the news.

"I hate to tell you this, but I think you've been pranked," said Rose.

Talon hung up. She cracked her knuckles. "So, Sugar. Whose idea was this?"

Both crews turned on him, and Sugar hurriedly put his radio to his ear as Manic slunk behind him. "Uh, bad news, Disc. They found out."

Discord and Retro hurried out of the shack to find the red-head getting chased by both crews, save for Manic, who immediately bolted and hid behind Retro as soon as she opened the door.


	14. oh fuck she thinks we're heterosexual??? (epilogue)

**Talon**

"How many people?"

Cinder was almost interrogating Sugar and it was insanely difficult not to laugh. The other crew members were either actively listening to the conversation or _pretending_ not to be actively listening to the conversation. Wasp, Sunshine, Discord, and Sea were part of the former group. Manic, Storm, Snake, and Retro were part of the latter. Talon liked to think she was in the latter as well.

Sugar chuckled awkwardly, fiddling with his bracelets again. Talon noticed he did that a lot. Must be a nervous habit of his. "Four."

"I saw you, Discord, n' Retro. Who's the fourth?"

Manic draped herself over Cinder's shoulders. "Take a guess, darlin'."

"You?!" Cinder helped, pushing Manic off of her with an offended glare. It would be comical if not for Cinder's death glare.

Manic didn't seem fazed. "What do you mean, 'you'? How insulting. You should be complimenting my prank expertise," she grinned, blowing a kiss to Cinder (and an extra one to a very tired Storm. Poor thing. What did he even do to deserve that?).

"When did you start this all?" Sunshine interrupted, quietly ignoring Manic and Cinder's shenanigans, "did you like, plan it in advance?"

Sugar snickered from the back. "We started it like, fifteen minutes after Talon walked in on Retro n' Discord 'kissing'. It didn't take long. The many letters supposedly written by Discord n' Retro? We only wrote two. The rest we kept empty and left to your imagination. Th' evenin' walk thing was hastily written. Jus' a few words from Manic and a cheesy script convinced y'all."

He and Manic shot each other finger guns. Talon rolled her eyes.

"We were goin' t' have a big confession thing, but we didn't expect Rose t' ruin it all," Sugar continued.

"I'm sorry!" Rose's voice crackled from Talon's radio, "I didn't know your prank was _that detailed!"_

Sea cleared her throat politely. "So it's all true, then? Retro, you're gay?"

Retro gave her a thumbs up, showing off her lesbian pride flag pin on the inside of her jacket. "I can't believe it you fell for it. Storm, I thought your gaydar was better than that."

Talon shifted her gaze to Storm, who was rolling his eyes and crossing his arms like a true teenager. "I dunno, I heard y'all were kissin' n' I couldn't be bothered to question it. I let Talon drag me to the 'evening stroll' and that was all."

Sea nodded, then turned to Sugar. "And you n' Discord, y'all really are a thing?" 

"Unfortunately, yes," said Discord, but he was smiling at Sugar. Talon realized it was a much more genuine smile than the one he'd given Retro during the 'confession'. She supposed they really were telling the truth, this time. You can't fake smiles like those.

"The doll jus' couldn't git rid of me," his boyfriend grinned, giving Discord an equally earnest smile back. But the warm expression was replaced with surprise when Snake jumped on him from behind. 

" _I_ _knew it!!!_ _"_ She shrieked, causing Sugar to flinch and cover his ears from the pure volume of her voice, " _I knew you n' Disc were fucking!"_

Talon couldn't help but unleash a loud cackle at the bold statement. Her giggles only continued when she realized Discord was hiding behind his hands, ears bright red. It was a completely different reaction than Sugar, who was laughing along with her. 

"Damn. We worked so hard to keep it secret up until now and you still caught on?" Sugar chuckled.

Snake looked like she was about to punch something, maybe wipe off Sugar's cheeky grin. Talon took a step back as Snake berated the pair. "Motherfucker, I've been your friend for years _and you didn't tell me?!"_

"Watch the language, Snake, Wasp's _right there-_ "

"Fuck off, Discord, I refuse to talk to you for hidin' this from me for so long!"

"Snake-"

"NoOOoo. I said I _refuse._ "

"But-"

"You've both lost your talking rights!"

Both crews were now laughing hysterically as Discord and Sugar desperately attempted to talk to Snake. Talon looked around once she could breathe again. She watched Manic flail her arms around an unimpressed Cinder, she watched Wasp tearfully hide behind Sunshine, and she watched Sea and Retro pull an angry Snake away from Discord and Sugar.

Storm silently handed Talon the last orange, which she gratefully accepted without saying anything, for once.

Yeah. These were people she'd like to have around for a long time.


	15. romance flash fics

**Sugar and Discord**

**"hindrance"**

Discord sighed deeply, clenching the multiple blankets wrapped around him. Snake, Sunshine, and Wasp were out getting supplies and he desperately wanted to go with them. The whole crew normally went out to gather resources together, but Discord had a bad case of Zone Flu from the annual acid rain and couldn't go with his crewmates. Who would watch over them? What if they got hurt? What would happen if they got captured? He wouldn't be there to help them. Fucking acid rain.

And to make matters worse, Sugar had to stay behind and watch him. Discord knew Sugar liked to go grab supplies because he liked chatting with Tommy or the other merchants in the area, so this made Discord feel even more horrible because he felt like a hindrance. Useless.

"Hey." The sound of Sugar's voice made him snap out of it and turn his head towards the red head, who was sitting on the floor next to Discord's mattress. "You've got your thinkin' face on, babe. What's on your mind?"

"Nothin'," Discord lied.

Sugar frowned, adjusting himself so he could look at Discord better. Witch, that frown made it so much harder to lie. He avoided Sugar's eyes instead of turning away because moving his head was particularly painful at the moment.

"If I know your thinkin' face, there's a good chance I know your lyin' face, Disc." Oh, screw it.

Discord took a deep breath (well, as deep of an inhale he could get. The stuffy nose was not helping his cause). "I feel bad. For bein' a hindrance to th' crew." No stopping now.

Sugar looked genuinely concerned and Discord wanted to burrow into his blankets more, maybe cover his face. Fuck. "You're not a hindrance. You didn't _choose_ to get the Zone Flu."

"Yeah, but I chose to run out into the acid rain."

Sugar shook his head and took Discord's hand, moving closer to him. "And in doin' so, you saved our much-needed supplies."

Discord bit his lip. "I probably could've been less stupid about it," he muttered. He squeezed Sugar's hand. Sugar squeezed back.

"But you saved us from a long week o' starvation, Disc. I don't think Snake, Wasp, n' Sunshine mind that you're sick. You're like a hero. At least to us." There was a pause, and then Sugar started laughing to himself. "That sounded really sappy, huh?" He asked, giggling quietly, and Discord felt a warmth bloom in his chest.

He liked Sugar's laugh. The sound of it changed every single time; it could be a loud, cackly, desert-hound type thing, or an explosion of barely contained snorts and giggles. This time it was a relaxed chuckle, almost an amused hum and _goddamn,_ he'd never get tired of that (the first time he'd ever made Sugar laugh was when they had just gotten out of the city and he nearly shot himself because he was holding the gun barrel the wrong way. It caused Sugar to explode in a fit of giggles and Discord was so flustered he nearly shot himself _again_. Not his proudest moment, but it was worth it). Now he got to see him laugh all the time, and the thought alone made some of his worries disappear.

But he didn't know how to say all that to Sugar, so he said: "Yeah, that was pretty cheesy."

Sugar grinned. Then he nudged Discord's side. "Move over."

"You'll get sick too," Discord told him, albeit his tone was reluctant, "you shouldn't even be holding my hand, honestly."

"When have I ever followed the rules?" Sugar asked and then forcefully squeezed his way onto the mattress. He planted a lazy kiss on Discord's jawline. "We can be sick boyfriends together."

Discord rolled his eyes. "Sounds romantic," he snorted and pulled Sugar into him more. 

There were a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"...Love you, Sugar," Discord whispered, the words somewhat muffled because his face was buried in Sugar's hair, "love you."

Sugar hummed. "Love you too."

**Verse and Nicotine**

**"questions"**

"My apologies for killin' your ears with those explosions today," Show said into the microphone, "I'll have you all know I don't associate myself with the two dunderheads that decided it would be okay to buy a shipment o' _thirty fireworks_."

Verse hi-fived Nicotine and chuckled to himself when the crowd screamed louder than ever. Teenagers and their 'ships'. It was weird, but oddly adorable seeing them all fall over themselves when he even _stepped_ towards Nicotine. He wondered how they'd react when they publicly announced their relationship, which he and Nicotine had decided was soon. It had been kept secret for far too long. Their fans deserved to know.

Nicotine grabbed the microphone from Show before she could say anything else. "Thanks for comin', Ritalin Rats. Keep runnin'!"

The frontman was smiling. In all honesty, he looked like a wreck; his high E and B string were both broken, his fingers were bleeding, and he was sweating so much his caramel hair stuck to his neck. At every concert he swung his guitar around, death-metal screamed, and hurt himself more often than not. This show was no different. It was because of him that they had a reputation for having the wildest mosh pits.

But backstage, when the lights weren't as bright and there was no screaming audience, Nicotine could even be described as shy. He was hesitant to shoot down the desert hyenas because they "were too cute to kill", regularly slept in a laundry pile because it was warm, and blushed whenever he asked to hold Verse's hand. 

Verse grinned at the memories and then at Nicotine, whose smile got even wider when he noticed Verse staring at him.

Ah, fuck. He's so gay for this idiot.

They walked off the stage, waving, and ignored the influx of waterbottles, bras, shirts, and empty cans of Powerpup that was thrown at them from the crowd. As soon as they were out of sight, Verse immediately slumped on the couch with a loud sigh, guitar falling with him. "Destroya, my voice is wrecked and I only did backin' vocals. How th' hell do you do it, Nico?"

But Nicotine wasn't there. Verse frowned. Eh. Nicotine was most likely chatting to a crew member or something.

Show flopped against the couch in the space next to his feet, messing around with his ripped up shoelaces. "I think I saw him puttin' his guitar away."

Made sense. Verse made an annoyed noise and lightly kicked her hand away from his foot. Show grabbed his shoelaces again, undeterred and ignoring his protests. He gave up and stopped fighting. "How he's got th' strength to stand, I dunno."

"It's probably his intense need for tidiness that fuels his energy," Show deadpanned, and Verse laughed.

His glee was cut short when there was a surprised shoutfrom the other room. Fuck. Draculoids? Why didn't they attack when they were distracted and on stage? He and Show drew their blasters anyway and snuck to the equipment room, which was where they stored all their instruments. Where Nicotine was.

They peeked through the doorway, expecting to see stone-cold figures with white masks, but instead found Nicotine surrounded by cameras and news reporters. The singer caught their eyes and slowly shook his head, gesturing for them not to come through.

 _I can handle it, don't worry,_ he signed in ZSL, _it's not that bad. O_ _ne of them followed me in here. The rest followed suit. But they aren't armed and aren't trying to hurt me. Don't worry._

Seriously? In Verse's opinion, it didn't matter if the reporters weren't trying to hurt Nicotine physically; emotionally draining him by bombarding him with questions after two hours of singing was just as horrible. Nicotine deserved a _break,_ thank you very much. If it weren't for a very knowing Show, who was holding him back already, he would be throwing the interviewers out by their jackets.

The reporters were chattering away, shoving cameras in Nicotine's face and even grabbing him on the sleeve to get his attention. Show growled and Verse felt his blood boil, but Nicotine shook his head again. _I can handle it_ , he signed, _it's only a few questions._ Gah. He was too nice. 

_If they say anything that makes you remotely uncomfortable, anything at all, I am throwing all of them out,_ Verse signed back. Nicotine nodded and then turned back to the reporters to answer their questions with a patience that Verse thought he shouldn't have at the moment.

"When's your next album droppin'?" "Soon."

"Who are your idols and biggest inspirations?" "Mad Gear n' the Fab Four."

"Can you explain the meaning and lore behind _Canary_ and _Raindead?"_ "Up to interpretation."

Question after question passed and through it all Nicotine kept a friendly smile on, until the very last question, which was:

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Nicotine's smile suddenly looked forced, more so than before. "S' a bit of private information you're askin' for, there."

"Well," the reporter winked at him, touching the sleeves of his jacket with her freakishly sequined nails, "if you don't, I'm definitely open."

That was the last straw. Verse ripped himself out of Show's grip and shoved his way into the crowd despite her shouts of protest. "Here's an answer to your question," he growled, "no, he doesn't have a fuckin' girlfriend." 

He grabbed Nicotine's face and kissed him roughly while flipping off the reporter. In the back of his mind, he noted that Nicotine was kissing back (after making a tiny squeak of surprise), so maybe he was just as determined to piss the woman off as Verse, but he didn't think too hard about it. Verse mostly just wanted to show the reporter that Nicotine was _off limits._

_He's mine, fucker._

"Thanks for th' questions," Show blurted out, grabbing a stunned Nicotine and an agitated Verse by their jacket collars, "but we hafta go." She dragged them out of the room and snarled at anyone who tried to follow them. Verse realized with a grin that Show was equally pissed at the reporter because she hadn't given her the traditional Zone goodbye of 'keep running'. Served her right. May the Witch smite that reporter.

"What were you thinkin'? That asshole deserved it, but now that's goin' t' be all over th' news. You shoulda been more polite with it for th' sake of the cameras. Coulda saved us a lot of fuckin' trouble," Show muttered once they were safely out of range. She never showed her anger through yelling, instead demonstrating her rage through sharp words that could cut like glass or lightning fast retorts that sometimes hurt just as much as a ten minute lecture. 

But as her brother who had been stuck with her for her entire life, Verse was practically immune to everything she said. "Look, the woman had it comin'," he defended, "I did say I'd deal with anyone who made Nico uncomfortable."

Show glared at him. "You said you'd _throw them out,_ which is different from _make out with your boyfriend in front of everyone."_

"Well. Nicotine liked it." Verse glanced over at the singer relished in Nicotine's immediate blush.

Show rolled her eyes and walked out of the room. "Whatever. Keep that gay shit outta my life."

**Neon and Cherry**

**"polaroids"**

"Cher. Cher, get up, I wanna show you somethin'." 

Cherry groaned, swatting at Neon's face. "It's too early. Leave m' alone, I wanna sleep." she muttered and rolled to the other side of her sleeping bag.

"You never sleep, Cher, I know you're jus' too lazy t' git up," Neon rolled his eyes, "but it'll only be a minute. Please? We're not even goin' outside." 

"Fine, but it better be somethin' good." Look, maybe she didn't sleep, ever, but the sleeping bag was hella comfortable and its warmth alone was enough for her to want to remain in it.

Neon grabbed her by the hand (which she definitely, definitely, didn't blush at. At all. It's not like she got flustered after dating him for years or anything) and tugged her to the garage. There was a tiny box on one of their shelves, one that Cherry hadn't seen before.

"Th' rest of th' crew won't be able to hear us in here, which is good, 'cuz I feel like you're goin' t' git really excited 'cuz of this." What could it possibly be? She doubted it was jewelry- nobody could find any gem anywhere with the heavy dust storms every month -and Neon had already given her every working music record he could find.

Neon ripped off the newspaper wrapping on the box and gestured for her to open it. She gently pulled at the edges and reached in to grab a plain book with no words on the cover.

"A book? You know I've never been one for readin', that stuff's too borin' for me-" "It's not th' kind of book you're thinkin' of, Cher," Neon interrupted, "open it n' see."

She flipped the cover open and was met with an adorable polaroid of Neon and herself sitting on top of the warehouse roof, a sunset in the background. She hadn't realized she was squealing until Neon shushed her with a hand over her mouth. 

"Okay, I said the crew wouldn't be able t' hear you, but they can if you continue at _that_ volume. Keep it down or Cyanide's goin' t' come n' investigate." Oh, right. Cyanide was never asleep, either. She loved the boy to death, but his rather protective mannerisms over Neon were a bit tricky to deal with. She still remembered the look he gave her the first time she and Neon had announced their relationship. She wasn't sure what it was, but it definitely wasn't a positive one.

Luckily for her, he'd calmed down a lot since then. Sometimes he gave Cherry odd looks when she and Neon were sent on missions alone, but it wasn't that bad. Still, he'd probably get suspicious and interrogate Cherry if he saw them hiding from everyone at this hour.

"Flip to the next page, Cher, you've been staring at that first one for ages. Don'tcha wanna see the rest of th' scrapbook?" Neon questioned, nudging her lightly with his elbow. Cherry felt her face heat up slightly and nodded, flipping to the next page.

"Wait, that's a picture of my..." It was a picture of her playing the acoustic guitar Neon had given her for Valentine's Day. It had gotten wrecked by Draculoids since then, and Neon had gotten her a new one, but she did still miss her original guitar. Seeing it again made her feel all fuzzy inside, though she'd never admit it.

Neon nodded. "And the one after that's you n' Verse jammin' t' a MGATMK song. Sorry I forgot which one, s' a bit hard t' remember with all of their new albums." Sorry? Why was he _sorry?_ The boy had saved a polaroid dated back to four years ago! There was nothing for him to be apologetic for. 

"Don't be sorry. This is amazin'," she told him.

He shrugged. "I guess."

Cherry flipped through more of the pages, faces of her friends, pets, prized possessions, and adventures greeting her. Every photo had a date and a small handwritten caption explaining where each photo was from. Some dates were from a month ago, others were from years ago. One, picturing Cherry holding a burnt disaster of a cake, was dated from even before they were together. "I can't believe you saved all of these."

Neon wrung his hands together. "Well, I had been thinkin' 'bout the idea for awhile. It's not like I could throw them all away."

Cherry made it to the last page, the very first polaroid they had ever taken. It was the two of them posing and sitting on Neon's motorbike after a particularly dangerous clap. Rose had taken the picture, she remembered distantly. 

"Remember when Blue always asked to ride with Azure, even though she thought Azure was the slowest biker in the world?" Neon questioned, and Cherry nodded. She'd never quite figured out why.

Neon raked a hand through his hair. "She told me it was because she wanted you to ride with me more often. Said we had 'chemistry', or somethin'. Ain't that funny?"

Cherry felt her face heat up. Again. She remembered the knowing winks Blue had given her every time she hopped onto the motorcycle seat. Now she finally knew what the detonator meant. "Dear Destroya. Blue, of all people."

She closed the book of polaroids and gently placed it back into the box so it wouldn't collect dust.

"Happy birthday, Cher." Neon murmured softly, and Cherry couldn't help but kiss him.

**Thrill and Riot**

**"and i don't want the world to see me"**

It was dusty outside. Lithium had said there was another dust storm coming and had boarded up all the windows and crevices in the building. She demanded that everyone in the crew stay inside. Riot didn't mind at all; she wasn't exactly excited to walk out into the radioactive sunlight and trip on snake carcasses in the sand. But dust storms usually lasted for a week and even she would get cabin fever after staying in the cramped office for that long. 

Misery was tinkering away at his motorcycle and Lithium was busy messing around with old wires and screws to make a new stereo to replace their old one, which that had gotten so beaten up it could only play one song on repeat (Misery told her it was called 'Bad Romance' by Lady Gaga and the title was as bad as the song sounded). She didn't know where Thrill was, but it's not like he could've gotten far. The abandoned office they had found wasn't a mansion. She figured he was probably in his room.

Riot was mildly bored (polishing her gun and her boots wasn't much fun after doing it 14 times), so she walked to Thrill's room to look for him and poked her head through the doorway. He was sitting on his sleeping bag with a large wooden object in his hands.

Thrill looked up and smiled. "Yo, Vi, what's up?" He had never stopped calling her Vi, even after she decided on her killjoy name. He also hadn't stopped calling her 'Miss Sasane'. Riot didn't like the nicknames themselves, but when Thrill called her them it gave her a sense of comfort.

"What are you doing?"

Thrill ran his fingers over the wooden object, creating a noise Riot recognized as music. But she thought music was only produced from radios. At least, that's the only place she'd heard it. Was the object in his hands a new radio model?

"M' playin' guitar," he told her.

"What's a guitar?"

Thrill made a pained noise. "Yeouch. If Ritalin Rodeo was here, they'd be screaming their heads off." Why Ritalin Rodeo, of all the crews in the Zones? Were they in charge of making this this new radio? Riot was confused.

"Sit over here," Thrill said, patting the ground next to him, "m' gonna teach ya."

She obliged, confusedly sitting down next to the killjoy. He placed the 'guitar' into her lap. "This thing is an instrument. It allows you to play music. You can play anythin' you want on it. Someone else's song, your own song, random notes, scales, everythin'," he explained, and Riot blinked.

"So what kind of radio is it, then?" She asked.

Thrill paused, and then laughed at her. How dare he. It was an innocent question. "It's not a radio. Radios don't make music. They just replay what's already been made. The music _starts_ with an instrument or vocal melody that people create. Then musicians send it to D's radio shack to broadcast throughout the Zones." Huh. She just assumed radios...made them up, or something. Like robots. There wasn't really much music in Better Living.

Thrill took her hands and guided them to what he called the fretboards and made her slide her fingers over the strings, creating a pleasant sound. So that's how the music was made.

"That's an A chord."

Surprisingly, she didn't get bored or tired of playing with the instrument. It was relaxing and she felt accomplished when she got the chord right. She was about to ask him to teach her more when Misery yelled that food was ready from the other room. Maybe tomorrow, Thrill said.

The next day, Riot showed up at Thrill's door with a simple request: teach her how to play a song. Any song. It didn't matter what song. She just wanted the pleasant sounds to come back. He smiled knowingly and patted the ground next to him again. "I'll teach you my favorite song, then."

A, B minor, G. Those were the three chords he showed her how to play. She stopped trying to play the chords at approximately two in the morning, and only because sleep won her over. Thrill found her on his sleeping bag, fingers red and blistering.

Riot woke up next to him, his jacket wrapped around her shoulders and a gentle hand clenching hers, which felt more achy and sore than the day when she practiced shooting for three hours. Thrill was still asleep from the looks of it. She'd love to stay with him longer, but the guitar in the corner caught her eye. Quietly she untangled herself from him and picked up the guitar, strumming it softly enough that he wouldn't wake up.

An hour passed. Finally. Riot got the chords down. Her fingers protested, but she didn't care, riding on the elevation of learning her first song. She didn't know the title or the lyrics, but the guitar was enough to be calming for her. The killjoy strummed the chords for the millionth time that morning when a different sound made her look up.

_"And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand..."_

Thrill was singing. She'd never heard his voice like that before. It fit with the rhythm of her chords, and she realized with a fleeting thought that those lyrics belonged to the song she was playing.

_"When everything's made to be broken..."_

Line after line went by and Riot thought the vocal melody was even more soothing than her simple guitar chords. Thrill's voice was still rough with sleep and his hair was almost completely in his face, but she appreciated it nonetheless.

She didn't know how, but she and Thrill ended the song at the same time. Maybe it was an instinctual thing. He said it was because she had a natural talent for figuring out the rhythm of music. She shrugged. Maybe.

"Can you teach me another one?"

Thrill quirked a grin. "Have you heard of Karma Police?"

**Snake and Jail Bird**

**"clubs"**

Snake thought this was the biggest waste of time. Discord and Sugar (mostly Sugar) had made her go to one of NewsaGoGo's popular clubs, which was horribly loud. Most of the attendees were blackout drunk and screaming. There were three fistfights in her field of vision. Sugar was going around, chatting with everybody and meeting new people. Discord looked uncomfortable and was following him around.

The only reason why she hadn't resisted was because Bird was going as well. No, it wasn't because she pulled adorable puppy eyes and convinced Snake with the power of love (ew), it was because Bird had the strength of a thousand oxen and launched Snake into the car. Yay. Bird was sweet like that.

Bird could be kind when she wanted to, but it was mainly the 'if-you-run-over-an-animal-run-it-over-again-to-make-sure-it-dies-quickly' type of kind. But it was enough for Snake. They made their relationship work. In the beginning, Snake didn't know if Bird was actually angry at her or not, but she'd come to learn overtime that Bird just liked to yell and destroy stuff as a sign of happiness. Her punches were signs of affection and her crude insults were actually pet names.

And they did spend around fifteen minutes making out in the corner of the club on arrival, so Snake supposed they were doing just fine.

Now Snake was drinking at the bar, tired of dancing with Bird (who was currently in a heated debate with another Killjoy over how a desert hyena would wear pants) and was quietly observing everything around her. 

A killjoy she hadn't seen before walked up to her with a friendly grin. He was relaxed and had a drink of something in his hand, but he gave Snake the chills. He wasn't doing anything wrong, just seemed...off.

"Hey," he began, and Snake groaned internally.But instead of glaring at him, she gave him a small nod. "Hi."

He hopped onto the stool next to her and held a hand out, bright yellow mohawk almost shining in the dimly lit club. "I'm Molotov Shark. Nice t' meet ya. Thought y' looked lonely over here."

"I guess." Snake ignored his outstretched hand. He didn't seem to mind and stuffed it back into his pocket.

"Did you come here alone?" He questioned. Snake's eyes darted to Bird, who was now screaming about pouring the cereal after milk (they didn't even _have_ cereal in the Zones???). Then her gaze shifted to Sugar, who was flirting with Discord so hard that the latter tripped over a chair in a flustered attempt to get away. She glanced between the pair and Bird and decided she didn't want to be associated with any of them. 

"Yeah, I'm here by myself," she said at last, taking a sip from her drink. It tasted like garbage. Better than the filtered rain water, at least. She noticed Molotov hadn't drank any of his glass, either. Glad to know she wasn't the only one who found the drinks disgusting.

"That's cool. So am I," Molotov replied smoothly, and- maybe he wasn't such a bad person after all? He seemed much calmer than the other Killjoys in the club, especially her dumbass girlfriend and her two dumbass friends.

Molotov paused, seemingly thinking about something. "Well, I'm not _completely_ alone here. The bartender is a good friend of mine. Wanna try this new one he made for me? I haven't tried it yet. I'll give you the honors of having the first sip." 

Eh. Why not? Anything's better than the cheap vodka she had in her cup at the moment. She nodded and took the glass from him. "Okay, I'll give it a try."

She took a big gulp of the drink and immediately regretted it. "That shit's gross," she muttered after reluctantly swallowing it as to not make a mess on the floor, "tell your bartender friend to try harder."

"That's pretty harsh," Molotov said, but he had a grin on his face. Snake didn't think much of it. His topaz eyes darted to the door. "Oh, hey, that's a friend I haven't seen in awhile. Give me a moment, will ya?" Snake nodded. She hoped he'd talk long enough with his friend that he'd forget about her and leave her alone.

He left and Snake resumed watching the other Killjoys again. A few minutes passed and her head started to swim. Fun. She must've had too much to drink. Goddamnit, Bird. She stumbled over to her girlfriend and whacked her on the back of the head. "I hate you," she muttered, "my head hurts n' I don't wanna be here."

"Not my fault you decided to drink so much!" Bird chirped, brushing her one blue streak of hair out of her face. "I've never even seen you super drunk, Snake. This'll be fun! Enjoy the wave of good vibes!" She waved her empty glass in Snake's face.

But Snake didn't feel like she was riding a 'wave of good vibes'. In all honesty, she felt like she was going to throw up. She never drank more than a glass or two and she usually never got sick from it, so the feeling was surprising. Maybe the vodka was stronger than she'd thought. She swayed a bit, grabbing her head, which was pounding. 

Bird caught her and steadied her by the shoulders. "Whoa, hey! You really _did_ have a lot to drink. How many glasses did you have?"

"Only like, two glasses...Maybe three," Snake slurred, missing Bird's expression switch from an amused grin to a concerned look.

"You shouldn't be this drunk from three glasses. Even drinking five woudn't make you blackout drunk like this. Did something happen?"

Snake shrugged. Things were becoming hazy. "Talked to a man named Molotov...seemed friendly. Don't like his smile," she muttered, leaning into Bird's shoulder. She was about to talk about his bartender friend's _horrid_ special drink but she felt the urge to throw up. "Need t' throw up."

"I'll go with you," said Bird, grabbing her hand and dragging her to the bathrooms. It was almost a comical sight, seeing barely 5'1" Bird dragging a 5'7" Snake to the bathrooms. You could hardly see Bird at Snake's side.

They hurried into the restrooms and Snake retched into the toilet. Bird frowned worriedly. "Geez, Snake. What did you take that was _this_ bad?" The door opened and closed again, a small clicking sound echoing through the stalls, but Snake hardly heard it. She shrugged at Bird. 

But she did notice when a man's voice echoed through the bathroom. "The fuck?" Bird whipped her head around at the sound and Snake turned to the best of her abilities to face a man with a bright yellow mohawk. Unmistakably Molotov.

"You said you were _alone, you liar!"_ He growled, all friendliness from earlier gone, and that's when Snake realized what he was talking about. He had put something in the drink from his so-called bartender friend and gave it to her. And she accepted like an idiot.

 _He had planned to catch her when she was alone._ Who knows what he would've done to her if Bird wasn't there?

"You...you put drugs in my drink!" Snake spat, ignoring the throbbing pains in her head, "you can't fuckin' get mad at _me!"_

Bird stared at Molotov. "I-uh-please, sir, don't hurt us!" She shrieked in the most obnoxious voice Snake had ever heard, "I have carbons i-in my pocket, take it and leave us alone!" This was unlike Bird. She had to be planning something. Snake braced herself.

Molotov considered this, seemingly deciding between getting carbons or assaulting Snake. He stepped towards Bird and reached out his hand. "Fine. I'll get someone else. Gimme the carbons n' swear t' never speak of this again. With anyone."

Bird twitched, innocent and terrified expression wiping off her face. "Yeah, I don't like bein' told what to do, dipshit." She flung a carbon into his eye and slammed him into the floor. Snake would've applauded if she didn't feel numb. She settled for grinning at Bird.

"What the fuck?! You're a demon!" Molotov shouted, desperately avoiding punches to no avail.

"Shut the _fuck_ up, you drugged my girlfriend!" Bird snarled, throwing him around like a sack of potatoes. "And you're an ugly-ass Cockatiel," she added. He hit the wall and slumped to the ground, unconscious.

Bird dusted off her hands as if Molotov was dirt. "You know, I love birds, but I think this one's an exception." 

Snake grinned at her. "You're such a sweet girlfriend."

"Fuck yeah, you know it," Bird grinned back with a bloody knuckle triumphantly raised in the air, "now let's get outta here. Betcha Discord will know how to help you."

"Yeah, let's hope so." She leaned on Bird and stumbled out of the restroom.

**Neon and Karma**

**"dye"**

"You gotta sit still, Neon!" Karma scolded lightly, putting a hand on her hip (and getting pink dye on her white jeans).

"It tickles!" Neon protested, wiggling in the stool.

"It'll tickle more if you keep wigglin' like that," Sugar snorted from across the room, "jus' suck it up for a little bit n' then it'll be over."

Neon made a face, sticking his tongue out at Sugar. Why was the process of dying hair so tedious? Karma said something about bleach, and keeping it wet for a couple minutes, or something like that. Too many steps. Couldn't they just spray paint his hair pink or something? Geez, the things he did for Karma. 

To make matters worse, all of Hysteria (Sugar and Discord) was watching him, including little Annie, who was sitting on Sugar's lap. She helped distract him from squirming around too much because _dear Destroya she was adorable and how come Sugar of all people got such a cute kid that's not fai-_

"Neon, I _said,_ can you put your head down?" Karma instructed, "I need to reach the back of your head."

"Oh, sorry." Neon brought his head down obligingly, but when the brush swiped the back of his neck he flinched and moved out of the way. He couldn't help it. The brush

Karma threw her hands up, a bit of pink hitting her on the cheek. "Ryder! I can't dye your hair if you keep movin'!"

"M' sorry, m' sorry!" He straightened himself up. "M' tryin', I swear."

"Maybe he should do like, meditation or something," suggested Discord. "Or breathing exercises."

Neon almost shook his head and then realized that was a bad move. He settled for glaring at Discord instead. "I'm not doin' any zen shit like that."

"Would you rather be knocked out?" Sugar asked, which was too cruel of a question for someone making funny faces at a little kid. Annie blinked.

"I thought bein' knocked out was only for the bad guys in white suits," she said quietly, "is Neon a bad guy???"

Sugar snorted amusedly. "Oh yeah, he's the _worst._ _"_ "Fuck you, Sugar." "And he uses bad language."

Neon groaned internally at Sugar's remarks and decided to ignore him, but that meant his focus immediately went to his hair again. The brush swiped the back of his neck and he flinched. Why was being ticklish even a thing? He'd kill the Witch to stop being ticklish. 

Karma grabbed his shoulder with her hand, keeping him in a firm grip. "I'm almost done, babe, jus' hold still for like two more seconds." He felt her swipe the brush against his hair again and then heard the sound of the brush being placed back into the bowl. Finally. He immediately leapt out of the chair, glaring at the stupid fucking brush for being so soft.

"Look at yourself in the mirror, Neon," Karma grinned, gesturing to the small, cracked mirror they had across the hall. Neon obliged and immediately grinned at the sight of himself. As promised, his hair was a light pink, matching his jacket and gun. It made him so much more _colorful,_ a direct fuck-you to BL/Ind.

"Damn. You did a great job, Karma," he praised, "it's exactly how I wanted it."

She hugged him from behind, taking careful note not to touch his still-wet hair. "Now we match."

"Y'know what? M' goin' t' keep it this color forever," Neon decided.

"Really?" Karma questioned, resting her head on his shoulder, "you like it that much?"

"Yeah. And 'cuz I don't want t' hafta do that dying process all over again."

She laughed, the happy sound ringing through the hallway. "Y'know we have t' touch it up every month or so, right?"

"Bleh. Whatever," he sighed, albeit with a smile on his face, "I'm doin' it for you. I'll deal. Jus' next time, make sure Discord n' Sugar aren't here. They're annoyin'."

"Fuck you too, Neon!" Sugar called from across the room, and the couple laughed.


End file.
